It's a Novel

 IT'S A NOVEL

- - with a memoir as its base.  The novel Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe is declared disgusting by one of our more enlightened Iowa senators.  Senator Zaun has declared "This book is disgusting and does not belong in our schools".  One can only presume that senator Zaun has read the book in order to declare it disgusting.

It would seem that senator Zaun is not what one would call a literary man - - one who reads literature - - for he apparently is not aware of the function of literature, in this case a novel based on the author's experiences growing up here in the United States.   This article is not an exercise in literary criticism nor a book report; it is simply an effort to give senator Zaun some idea, however faint, of the purpose in reading novels.  

Novels are not meant to be soothing nor nondisgusting - - some are disgusting and some aren't.  Novels, at least serious novels, one of which is Gender Queer, have several functions.  One function, and the most obvious, is to give the reader an idea of how other people live and their lives as they live it.  One can learn something about other people if one reads novels.  Normally, one's immediate circle of acquaintances are not much different from oneself and learning about other people can be beneficial, especially in an Iowa senator, who one would presume, is representing non-binary people as well as binary people.

Now Gender Queer shows the reader, in language understood by all, the issues a person has growing up when not like everyone else.  Growing up is difficult, something that senator Zaum has forgotten, but it is even more difficult when you are different.  Senator Zaun believes the book to be disgusting.  What he is saying is that the main character in the book is disgusting, not because he/she is going through the normal adolescent traumas, but because some of the traumas are shown explicitly and are different from what the senator has experienced or even thought about.

A second consideration we can take from senator Zaun's pronouncement is the underlying premise that senator Zaun's opinion is the only opinion that is allowable.  Apparently election to the Iowa Senate brings with it the authority that one may determine  opinion; that a senator's  standing in life is equivalent of having a special opinion status - - one who is able to decide what other's opinion will be, not just his own.

Unfortunately for senator Zaum, I and others will decide for ourselves what is disgusting and what is not.  And also I and others will actually have learned how difficult it is to grow up without a set or stable gender identity.  Gender identity does in fact exist whether senator Zaum wants to recognize it or not.  Some people who look male don't identify as male; some people who look female don't identify as female.  This is a fact that the readers of books, including Gender Queer, will learn which again is the function of reading novels written by people with something to say.  The result will be that you are not quite as ignorant as you were before reading the book.

So in closing, let's suggest to senator Zaun that we the readers  make our own determination as to what is disgusting and what is not and that he is not qualified to determine what we will have available to read if we are so inclined.  Possibly, the book might actually do him some good if he were to actually read it; his understanding would be enhanced.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Impeccable Logic

 IMPECCABLE LOGIC

One must give credit where credit is due.  Our senator, Joni Ernst, has proclaimed she will oppose judicial nominees, spending bills, and other legislation introduced by democrats in protest over the conviction of Donald Trump in the state court of New York.  The logic is impeccable.  A jury of twelve people in New York will now determine how our Iowa senator votes on appointments and legislation.

I personally would never have considered the connection between how our Iowa senator votes in Congress and the finding beyond a reasonable doubt of twelve people sitting in a courtroom in New York City.  One must applaud our senator for finding a connection and reacting so appropriately.  This is why we elect the people we do - - the ability to find cause and effect in such arcane matters.

She apparently is not alone in this reasoning process.  It is unclear whether she thought of this connection herself or another senator who has endorsed this reaction is responsible.  These include J. D. Vance of Ohio, Tommy Tuberville of Alabama, Eric Schmitt of Missouri, Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, Rick Scott of Florida, Roger Marshall of Kansas, Marco Rubio of Florida, Josh Hawley of Missouri, and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin.  I am unaware of any of our representatives reaching the same conclusion, but surely there must be some.

Regardless of whether senator Ernst came up with this logical process, or another senator is responsible, we must give credit where credit is due.  Even if she is not the senator responsible for finding the logic in this situation, senator Ernst has the ability to understand it and act accordingly and our appreciation is justly appropriate.  Many are not as astute as our senator and that is truly unfortunate.   The people we elect to represent us in Congress, especially the United States Senate where a mere 100 people determine the laws of this country and how we are seen around the world, is extremely important.

Senator Ernst has announced that she will run for re-election in 2026 and such pronouncements  as this will surely matter in that election.  It can only be of immense value for the public to know of the ability of our senator to find and act upon situations with such uncanny ability to see connections which many of us have failed to see.

Richard E H Phelps II
Mingo 

Fans of Felons

 FANS OF FELONS

Having practiced criminal law for many years, I have always subscribed to the notion that felons are people too and should be treated as such.  Not much has come from this notion in that most of the public have had the opinion that a felon is some substandard human being afflicted by some loathsome disease.  I am not of this opinion and never have been.  

Due to my profession, I have had the privilege of meeting, visiting, consulting, and representing hundreds, if not thousands of felons.  I number many as friends, associates, and clients.  They have the normal range of competency as the general public and go about their business on a daily basis as do most of us.  I find the general attitude toward felons as untoward to say the least.

We now have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to recognize felons as actual citizens, even if they can't vote.  Historically a few felons have been celebrated as quasi heroes; people such as Bonnie and Clyde, Jessie James, Billy the Kid, Capone, etc.  The underlying issues of lawlessness: theft, robbery, assault,  murder, etc. have merely been the methods of becoming folk heroes.

Of what I speak, and the circumstances of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, is the conviction of Donald Trump on thirty-four felony counts.  Who would have thought?  Suddenly we have a new folk hero who, having eluded criminal prosecution until almost eighty, is now a FELON!  The public loves it, they now have a new folk hero - - an unlikely one, but a hero nevertheless.  A man who has spent his life cheating, lying, suing, berating, and otherwise treating people poorly is now a felon and hence, a person legitimately recognizable as a folk hero.

What is needed is a nationally syndicated fan club - - Fans of Felons.  Now that we have this national movement to excoriate the judicial system and hence create a new folk hero, it is time that we move on this.  We need a Fan of Felons organization; a national organization dedicated to the enhancement of the felon image with the president of the United States as chief felon and spokesman for all those who subsist under the onus of felony.

It's no fun being a felon; it is difficult to find a place to live, a place to work, people to hang with other than fellow felons.  This new national support for felony should not be lost on us.  It is an opportunity that may not occur a second time.  So, I say we organize and formalize an organization and call it Fans of Felons.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Devastation Tours

 DEVASTATION TOURS

In  a true entrepreneurial spirit, new adventures abound.  One type of adventure that is currently booming is the tornado tour.  Numerous companies are now advertising them.  With climate change, it is becoming clear that this could almost be a year round business.  The midwest of the United States remains the center of this new industry but other areas are gaining.

Professional storm chasers are hired by these companies.  I'm not sure what constitutes a professional storm chaser, but this is the claim. Safety, they say, is the number one concern when close ups of tornados are the goal.  Hence,  the experience of the storm chasers leading the tours is an important factor in choosing which company to use.  These employees of the tornado tour companies are expert in identifying storm cells and transporting their customers really close to the action.

What is really memorable about storm chasing, and I call these adventures, devastation tours, are viewing the wreckage after the event.  This part of the viewing is the most fun.  Why simply watch a tornado when you can follow it up with a tour of the devastation.  If you're really lucky, you'll be able to find some people standing around piles of rubble that were their homes and getting their reactions to the loss of their houses.  If no one is present, keepsakes and souvenirs are for the taking.  Certainly no one is going to come looking to you for personal items you may have made off with thinking, quite logically, that the missing items simply got blown away.

Of course, the main event in such a tour is when you can arrive in time to find people looking for family members or pets or other such things.  These are really good photo opportunities.  Nothing beats the wailing of a young mother having just lost her child in the rubble.  An additional benefit to such a windfall is the ability to sell the photographs of these situations to newspapers, magazines, or online news aggregators.  You might even be able to cover the cost of the tour this way.  So, make sure you have the ability to take photos when chasing tornadoes, and take a lot of them.  You might not be able to find a man looking through the wreckage for his wife, but you might be able to add a storyline to the photos you do get that will sell.

So, once again, the true American entrepreneurial spirit is at work here.  This is what has made America great folks - the entrepreneurial spirit. And as the climate begins to change more and more, it is clear that we Americans will be in the forefront of the ability to profit from it.  We will continue to lead and we should be proud.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Ashley Hinson

 ASHLEY HINSON, CONGRESSWOMAN

Congresswoman Ashley Hinson has announced her number one priority to be stopping illegal immigration from the southern border and to deporting millions of illegal aliens.  We need to applaud this stance.  Deporting millions of illegal people is much more important than health care, jobs, global warming, world war three, the economy, etc.

I must say though, that the congresswoman has left too much unsaid.  Unfortunately we have other manners of entrance.  The border between Canada and the United States is 5,525 miles.  We have 7,623 miles of Pacific coast, 2,069 miles of Atlantic coast, 770 miles gulf coast and a coast in the Artic.  On top of that we have things called airplanes landing everywhere all the time from foreign parts.  We need to think globally here, not just the southern border.

And secondly, it would seem we will need a method to accomplish this.  I suggest we reintroduce the tried and true method of deportation - - railroad cars.  This really worked in Germany and we need to study the methods used.  I'm sure there is a biography of Eichmann available somewhere that will give us some ideas.  Logistics, unfortunately, has either been ignored or simply omitted by Congresswoman Hinton in her pronouncement of legislative priorities.  There really doesn't seem to be any other viable method of deporting millions of people except by railroad cars.

If we are going to use trains, we will need detention camps - - holding pens - - for all these millions. Various localities, presumably, will vie for locating nearby.  These holding pens would offer the same employment opportunities as do our local prisons.  Good for the local economy and the logistical efforts  will be significant.  I'm assuming the federal government would have the help of the states that have been passing these laws making it a crime to be illegal.  Surely we can get some federal-state cooperation in this effort.  Iowa has passed such a law so I would think they would be in a frame of mind to help out.

Lastly we will need a destination for these millions.  There is the Chihuahuan Desert south of Texas and New Mexico and there is the Sonoran Desert south of Arizona and California.  These would be really good spots to dump all these millions of people and if the Mexican government would not be willing to cooperate, we could easily contract with the cartels for their services.  They'll do most anything for an American dollar.

As a final note, if you, the readers, have other solutions please share them.  Any methods suggested, I would think, could be useful. 

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Tertiary Flatulence

  TERTIARY FLATULENCE

It's ironic how one topic can lead into another.  Nuclear war quite easily follows a discussion of flatulence.  It's clear that nuclear war is necessary for a restart of the human species.  It's time to clear the deck and begin again.  We've really made a mess of it and the more flatulence, the more global warming, the closer the planet becomes to being uninhabitable.

The opinion expressed here is not contrary to the opinion of my favorite philosopher, George Carlin, who believed the earth will take care of itself and will be here long after we are gone regardless of what we do to it, and the present, to my way of thinking, is the beginning the process as we go about our daily business. You can feel it in the air - heat.  Earth will survive a nuclear war just fine - -  it's the human species that needs rehabilitation.  And if we take the rest of biological life with us, oh well, it can't be helped.

Rather than having 9,000,000,000 humans suffering unnecessarily, slowly cooking to death, a nuclear holocaust seems to be the answer.  Let's just get it done and over with.  The sooner we eliminate most of mankind, the quicker we can start over - - make a new beginning.  According to some it happened with Noah so it's not a new idea - - been around a long time.  

As it stands now, suffering will be endemic to life on earth.  Already people can't  insure their million dollar houses and magnificent office towers being swallowed by an ocean or blown away by a hurricane or a tornado sweeping the countryside,  AI will unemploy millions, the poor and needy will overrun the northern hemisphere. There will be nowhere to hide from catastrophe. Those with unlimited resources in their hidden retreats will need more than their billions to save them from the starving multitude who will swarm their estates looking for anything worth anything.

I say, let's just get it over with.  No sense in drawing things out.  Push a couple of buttons and whoosh we are no more.  Easy as that.  Those that don't get incinerated by the blasts will quickly expire of radiation poisoning.  Let's not do this half way, shoot them all off.  Russian, China, and whoever else has  nukes stored away in their silos can get into the act.  It could even be a UN resolution setting a date certain.

Not too far in advance though.  Just enough time for humans to make peace with all those who they have ignored, humiliated, or otherwise treated poorly.  A day or two at the most.  More time than that and people will start to think twice about ceasing to exist.  Not good; it has to be done before people become maudlin about the whole thing.

So in summary, it is clear that a nuclear holocaust will be the direct result of flatulence.  A clear connection exists; one necessarily follows the other.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

On Flatulence Amplified

 ON FLATULENCE AMPLIFIED

Appropriately, On Flatulence caused some comments and a followup is necessarily apt. Numerous articles have appeared recently, presumably authored by vegetarians and environmentally conscious folk, regarding the amount of methane emitted into our atmosphere through cow flatulence.  It would appear from numerous sources that the amount of methane, a climate warming contributor, being produced by bovines is excessive and something must be done about it.

Of course, the immediate suggestion is to quit eating cows.  This does not seem to be probable; cow protein has become a staple in all advanced countries with the possible exception of Australia whose residents seem to have replaced cow with sheep.  I am not knowledgeable as to the amount of methane being emitted into the atmosphere from sheep so I will ignore sheep methane for my purpose here.

However, I believe just as important to the production of methane in our atmosphere is human flatulence.  One source indicated that approximately 7% of human flatulence is methane gas.  Now 7% doesn't seem like a lot until you realize that there are about 9,000,000,000 of us.  That seems to me a significant amount of methane being emitted into the air and creating climate warming.  It somewhat muzzles the argument that humans are not the cause of climate change - - we produce it directly.

I don't hear a groundswell of opinion to reduce the amount of methane in the air by reducing the number of humans.  Unfortunately the world economy can only be maintained if there are people to buy stuff they don't need.  The fewer the people, the fewer goods sold, the fewer workers needed, the less money available to buy all the stuff we don't need.  This could easily end in a depression equalling 1929 - - just think, a hundred years ago.

So, it would appear that we are between a rock and a hard place.  Where to turn?  As always, I am open to suggestions on correcting the heating of the planet.  But it does seem inevitable looking at the influx of methane into the atmosphere.  We have cows who produce methane and we eat the cows creating more methane.  The only method available to reduce this production of methane is to reduce the number of humans.  With fewer humans, fewer cows, and less methane will be produced.

Clearly the  answer for a stable environment is fewer humans depression or no. 

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo