Poop Snitchers

 POOP SNITCHERS

Well, we don't like snitchers - - unless they are snitching drug dealers of course.  But poop snitchers, now, is serious business and we don't much care for it.  Our legislature, known for its robust support of our farmers (which includes livestock for those not in the know) are concerned about anonymous snitchers in particular.  If you are going to call the DNR and complain that you can't sit on your porch on a summer evening because of the smells of pig or cow poop, your name should be broadcast publicly for righteous recrimination from those causing the complaints.

It's only fair.  The article from the Capital City Dispatch discussing the matter indicates that the "vast majority" of those anonymous complaints lead to some type of corrective action.  I can think of no better reason in discouraging such complaints.  With fewer complaints there will be fewer corrective actions which is the obvious goal of livestock producers and hence the legislature.  We want fewer corrective actions by the DNR, not more.  And if your neighbor now hates you for being a snitch; well that's just the price you're going to have to pay for being a snitch.

It might actually be something that requires a little more thought however - - unfortunately a quality not often found in our legislature.  It's been several years now that non-farm rural homes exceed farm homes.  These are people who spend a great deal of money building homes and outbuildings and sometimes ponds to enjoy a rural setting and to get away from the hubbub of the city only to be assaulted by the aroma of poop - - sometimes to an extent that makes their property non-saleable which really makes them mad and understandably so.

So, before we get  over raught about poop snitchers, let's count the votes. I can drive from Mingo, through Ira, then through Baxter, and over to Newton and I will see  maybe one hog confinement and a few cows but a considerable number of houses with garages, and vehicles in the driveways, and a few outbuildings sans livestock.  These are the people who don't really care for the smell of poop in the morning with their coffee. It is clear from just a drive that rural residents without cows or pigs or chickens or turkeys for that matter, far number those with them.

So, a cautionary note is in order.  If you are an elected official you may want to reconsider any outrage you have against poop snitchers and count the votes.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

A Singing Mandate

 A SINGING MANDATE

House File 587 has been introduced in the Iowa legislature  mandating singing in school.  I look on this with particular horror, in that long ago, as I reached adulthood, I vowed I would never do two things ever again.  I have kept that vow.  The two things are going on rides, such as Adventureland or the state fair, and singing.  I don't sing and the idea of being required to sing everyday before class gives me the chills.

But I am willing to look at this proposal rationally.  The idea, apparently, is to increase patriotism in our children.  All good and well, but it would seem to me that what we first need to do is to quantify the amount of patriotism in our student body as it currently exists.  I don't think it fair that an assumption be made that our students lack patriotism or that they should be required to have more patriotism than they already have.  Before we jump the gun and mandate more patriotism I believe we should quantify the amount of existing patriotism and once this is accomplished to set an amount of patriotism needed to fulfill the requirements set out by the legislature.

The question is how to measure the quantity and quality of patriotism currently existing in our student bodies.  And do we assume that the quantity or quality of patriotism currently existing is the same for every community.   I would think not.  For instance, if the level of patriotism at a particular school is very high, they may not need be made to sing the national anthem every day, but maybe every other day or once a week.

It's an issue of measurement.  How do we measure the level of patriotism existing in a given environment?  We could measure degrees of patriotism; or maybe the percentages of patriotism.  Or, we could determine levels of patriotism or the categories of patriotism.  There seems to be various ways that  patriotism could be measured and analyzed.  Maybe an algorithm could be developed for purposes of measurement.  

Of course, any measurement would necessarily entail some sort of questionnaire to be distributed to the student body for purposes of obtaining the data necessary for measurement and then for remedial efforts.  Actually, it all seems pretty complicated.  Maybe we should give this idea some thought before rushing to pass legislation requiring a whole lot of singing.  I certainly don't want to force singing on anyone who doesn't like to sing - patriotic or not.  I for one would not be inclined to acquire more patriotism if I had to sing for it.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo