27 October 2012

Illegal Immigration

I have stumbled upon a solution to the illegal immigration problem. Although this will not be considered a solution for those of us who believe the horde of Mexicans and others speaking dialects of Spanish are destroying the very fabric of society. But for those who use cost as the rationale for their xenophobic views, I may have a solution. For every Mexican who crosses the border with the intent to stay and suck up our precious resources to maintain themselves and provide for their children, we send back one of ours. A quid pro quo. When Jose gets stopped for driving without a license, rather than throwing him in jail or a detention pond waiting for deportation, we go down to the local jail and grab Joe who has no job, doesn't want one, and couldn't hold one if he had it; give him a Spanish phrase book and a ticket to Mexico City and wish him bon voyage explaining to him as you do that this phrase is French not Spanish and he probably ought to review his phrase book while on the plane. This solution would have several benefits. It would stabilize the population which seems to be an issue with some. More importantly it would add one person willing to work for one person unwilling to work. The probability is that Joe, who will be now living in Mexico, is on disability payments which can stop, who does not pay into social security, is a burden on the local emergency room for health care, and is continually in court for minor offenses such as public intoxication, disorderly conduct, or other offenses disrupting the peace and tranquility of our neighborhoods. Jose will be given Joe's social security number and for all practical purposes will now be Joe. Jose will not be disturbing the peace of suburbia for he will be living in the local Mexican ghetto only appearing when there is work to be done. And if he does get drunk and disorderly, it will be in the ghetto where decent folks like ourselves will not be required to witness it. Jose will actually pay his rent to the local slum lord, buy a car no one else will buy, and support the new Mexican grocery on the corner. Everyone is a winner except, of course, Joe and he doesn't count.