Tertiary Flatulence

  TERTIARY FLATULENCE

It's ironic how one topic can lead into another.  Nuclear war quite easily follows a discussion of flatulence.  It's clear that nuclear war is necessary for a restart of the human species.  It's time to clear the deck and begin again.  We've really made a mess of it and the more flatulence, the more global warming, the closer the planet becomes to being uninhabitable.

The opinion expressed here is not contrary to the opinion of my favorite philosopher, George Carlin, who believed the earth will take care of itself and will be here long after we are gone regardless of what we do to it, and the present, to my way of thinking, is the beginning the process as we go about our daily business. You can feel it in the air - heat.  Earth will survive a nuclear war just fine - -  it's the human species that needs rehabilitation.  And if we take the rest of biological life with us, oh well, it can't be helped.

Rather than having 9,000,000,000 humans suffering unnecessarily, slowly cooking to death, a nuclear holocaust seems to be the answer.  Let's just get it done and over with.  The sooner we eliminate most of mankind, the quicker we can start over - - make a new beginning.  According to some it happened with Noah so it's not a new idea - - been around a long time.  

As it stands now, suffering will be endemic to life on earth.  Already people can't  insure their million dollar houses and magnificent office towers being swallowed by an ocean or blown away by a hurricane or a tornado sweeping the countryside,  AI will unemploy millions, the poor and needy will overrun the northern hemisphere. There will be nowhere to hide from catastrophe. Those with unlimited resources in their hidden retreats will need more than their billions to save them from the starving multitude who will swarm their estates looking for anything worth anything.

I say, let's just get it over with.  No sense in drawing things out.  Push a couple of buttons and whoosh we are no more.  Easy as that.  Those that don't get incinerated by the blasts will quickly expire of radiation poisoning.  Let's not do this half way, shoot them all off.  Russian, China, and whoever else has  nukes stored away in their silos can get into the act.  It could even be a UN resolution setting a date certain.

Not too far in advance though.  Just enough time for humans to make peace with all those who they have ignored, humiliated, or otherwise treated poorly.  A day or two at the most.  More time than that and people will start to think twice about ceasing to exist.  Not good; it has to be done before people become maudlin about the whole thing.

So in summary, it is clear that a nuclear holocaust will be the direct result of flatulence.  A clear connection exists; one necessarily follows the other.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo