They're Mushrooms

 THEY'RE MUSHROOMS

On a drive-about that included Altoona, Bondurant, and Ankeny I saw dozens if not a hundred new,  massive structures, empty - - waiting for stuff to arrive by trucks to then leave again by trucks, possibly to another of the massive buildings a few miles away.  It is like a form of fungal reproduction.

Now I know that mushrooms reproduce through spores that apparently are airborne as the mushroom breaks the service of the ground, but there must be some sort of pollination going on here that I am not aware of.  I can think of nothing more analogous to these giant structures than huge, cavernous fungi.  They seem to pop up overnight.  And then there is stuff moving from one part of the building to another, from one building to another, having at one time moved from the point of manufacture and will end finally at the place where it will be consumed.

We now call this process the supply chain.  This is a new term that  entered our vocabulary when we experienced deprivation with COVID.  Suddenly, there were items not found.  This was viewed with horror.  For instance, toilet paper became a very valuable item.  The stores couldn't keep what little they had in stock for the pursuit of toilet paper by the public was ravenous.  What would we do without toilet paper?

Of the 350,000,000 people that live in this county, if the "supply chain" suddenly disappeared, 349,000,000 would have no food.  That is a thought that should get one's attention.  The fact that someone is gay or transgender or some other variety of human, would seem to be irrelevant.  No one would have anything to eat.  I suppose that is when the guns come out.  Of course, if everyone has a gun, that's when the real shooting begins.

If you and your children are starving, you do what you have to do to eat.  Simple really.  I often wonder about the things that we complain about, or argue about, or get upset with.  So our legislature doesn't like that our teachers actually acknowledge there are gay and transgender people in their schools.  The horror!  Is this what they are elected to think about?  What possible benefit does it do to anyone to pick on people other than to show you are a bully.

Unfortunately, it would appear that our legislators and our governor are bullies.  They showed it during the protest of Black Lives Matter, they are showing it in their actions against teachers and librarians, they are preparing laws to enact that are nothing but  to bully people they don't like for whatever reason they don't like them. 

We have a government of bullies, smug ones, believing that that is why they were elected - - to bully people.  I can only hope that the people who voted for them are not themselves bullies.  I find most people, when approached, are friendly and not bullies, and in fact, don't much care for one person bullying another. But they have elected a legislature full of bullies.  Seems incongruous.  I wish it weren't so.  Maybe you could suggest to your legislator that he or she begin thinking about the things that matter - - not who can go to which bathroom.

If you wonder how I made the transition from cavernous warehouses to bullies so quickly; it's called a mind that wanders uncontrollably.

Richard E H Phelps

Mingo

Hair Concerns

 HAIR CONCERNS

When traveling one should explore as much as possible, right?  Why else travel but to see and experience things one cannot see or do at home?  My visit to Central Market in Austin, Texas is illustrative.  In the aisle, of what I will call, personal products was an assortment of hair products, specifically shampoo.

To be clear, I'm not receiving any remuneration for writing about this particular product, presenting its remarkable features to a public that may be unaware of its existence.  The product is John Masters shampoo, conditioner, and hair spray sitting prominently on the shelf at eye level, leading me to believe that Central Market probably gets a kickback on sales, but not the point.

I counted four different shampoos with John Masters' logo:  1. a Volumizing Shampoo with Rosemary & Peppermint; 2. a Daily Nourishing Shampoo with Lavender & Rosemary; 3 a Scalp Stimulating Shampoo with Spearmint & Meadowsweet; 4. a Scalp Conditioning Shampoo with Zinc & Sage.  Also available  were a John Masters' Hair Spray with Acaciagum & Aloés, USDA organic, and a Daily Nourishing Conditioner with Citris & Neroli.  Upon reviewing this selection (of just one company's products), I could only ask myself - - What has happened to us?  But then I recanted.  I, among my contemporaries, are ultimate consumers - - this is what we do - - consume.  One needs to be able to discuss intelligently the pros and cons of lavender and rosemary vs spearmint and meadowsweet.

Unfortunately, I often feel I am lacking in the ability to be a modern American in this regard.  But travel, as is clear from my experience in the Central Market, is helpful.  I am certainly open to being informed - - why travel in the first place if not open to new things and experiences.  For me, Central Market was a new thing; and indeed, not only did they have shampoo but fresh octupi.  The Market was indeed a new experience and one I shall not forget for some time.  Not quite as spectacular as the Grand Canyon, but for us ultimate consumers, quite an adventure.  

I will have to admit, I purchased neither octupi nor shampoo.  The Walgreen's shampoo I normally purchase without essence of plants seem to work ok and it would be a considerable time without food before I could bring myself to eat octopus; both prejudices, I assume, resulting from the fact that living in rural Iowa, having been born in rural Iowa, and practicing law in rural Iowa where octupi are rarely seen and John Masters' hair products are not available, my sudden exposure to this massive and diverse quantity of purchasable products was difficult for me to comprehend and mentally digest - - being a rather rural person.  

Once again, the power of travel.  And even if I am still unsure about the relative benefits of rosemary and peppermint vs zinc and sage, I now know there are some and further investigation is necessary for me to continue to be a proper, modern-day, American consumer.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

I'm Grieving

 I'M GRIEVING

Representative Dunwell is grieving; and rightly so.  Consequently, Senate File 496, the recently enacted legislation requiring the banning of books in Iowa's public schools, was necessary.  The authority for this act, according to Representative Dunwell, is a short speech given by John Fletcher Moulton, Lord Moulton, a Cambridge mathematician and subsequently a London barrister.  The reference made to Lord Moulton was a short speech given at the Authors Club in London published as "Law and Manners" in 1924.

Accordingly, SF 496 addresses the vast area between the domain of "The Law" and the domain of "Free Choice".  Lord Moulton divided human behavior into three categories: (1) Those prescribed or prohibited "The Law", (2) Those allowed as "Free Choice", and (3) that huge area in between.  Lord Moulton called this  third area "Manners"; Representative Dunwell apparently calls it "Sin" which needs to be moved into category (1) "The Law".  The subject matter of Senate File 496 accordingly takes certain things out of the category of "In Between" and moves them to category 1: "The Law".  The area of "Free Choice" was apparently not considered, but that vast area in between "Law" and "Free Choice" now needs to be reviewed.  Hence, our legislature has moved the teaching of certain materials that currently (according to them) land in between the "The Law" and "Free Choice" into the land of "The Law".  I realize this is all somewhat confusing, but don't blame me.

Apparently, Lord Moulton thought that the manners of the public needed some correction and he thought possibly some Biblical references might do the trick.  As we can all see, it didn't.  Now Representative Dunwell has somehow come across this short speech of Lord Moulton now entitled "Obedience to the Unenforceable".  If one Googles it, it comes up numerous times and apparently is often quoted by current divines and others.  This appears to be the authority for SF 496.

I do find it interesting that Lord Moulton had a correspondence with Charles Darwin - - obviously the two were acquainted.  Lord Moulton didn't think much of Herbert Spenser's adoption of Mr. Darwin's biological theories to human society, such as the concept of "natural selection".  But it would seem that Lord Moulton actually accepted Darwin's work as an advancement in human knowledge. Oh woe is me to think that Representative Dunwell is referencing a man who considered Darwin's work as valid.  I think we need to rethink this entirely.  Lord Dunwell needs to retreat and reconsider his sources.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Oh No!

 OH NO!

The Minnesota House just passed the bill legalizing marajuana.  Their senate will soon follow.  Iowa will then be surrounded on three sides with the horrific spector of legal marijuana coming into the State from three sides.  What will we do?  

The answer of our law enforcement personnel is very simple - - put more people in jail, give more people criminal records, collect more garbage in the middle of the night, obtain search warrants so that you house can be flooded with strangers with guns pointed at you for having some marijuana residue somewhere on the premises.  It's all very entertaining - - for some.

On the other hand, it is a clear sign that our law enforcement people don't have enough to do.  Like writing a traffic ticket where someone didn't come to a complete stop on a deserted street in the middle of the night with not a moving car in sight.  These actions by our law enforcement can only be the product to two things:  boredom or meanness or maybe both.

The notion that our local police are here to serve and protect is a difficult proposition to accept some days.  They give no sign of serving or protecting when they go busting into someone's house looking for a bag of weed or give someone a traffic ticket for no purpose whatsoever other than to give themselves something to do.

And although law enforcement gives a great deal of effort to convincing the public that they are there to protect them and to serve them, it is clear that they are not there for either of these two purposes.  They are there to enforce the laws of the State of Iowa regardless of what they may be or who it will affect.  Don't care.  Not their concern.  I will say they are normally polite when they do it; which is for the simple reason that there are less complaints if you are needlessly giving people a problem while smiling.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Don't Let Them Vote

 DON’T LET THEM VOTE

If we haven’t had enough to deal with, like homosexuals, now we have to deal with people that claim they are “transgender”.  You know - - enough already!  Not only should we have a national religion, we should have a national sexuality and that should be straight, heterosexual sex:  you know, like between a man and a woman.

It’s not only the right thing to do, but it’s Biblical and if it’s Biblical, then it’s got to be the right thing.  If someone is going to hell for sinning, there really is no reason to let them vote - - somebody like them might actually get elected like that guy from Indiana who is now Secretary of Transportation.  Can you believe it, Biden put a gay guy in charge of our highways.  How bad is that?

We need to have our sexual identity on our driver’s license:  if straight an S, if gay a G, if transgender a T, and if you don’t have any sexual identity at all, you really do need to start over - - no voting for you!  So let’s give this the thought it deserves shall we.  The only way we are going to keep gays and transgenderites out of public office is to make sure they can’t vote.  And there is nothing anti-American about this.

We have been discriminating against people ever since we have been a country and before and, I for one, see no reason to stop now.  When we first started only white males that owned property could vote, and I know our women folk won’t think much of this, but black men were allowed to vote before them, and not without good reasons either.  Our wives thought they should actually have a say in how things were run.  Not a good idea at all.  Things were just fine the way they were.  After all, doesn’t the Bible say to keep you women folk silent in the congregation.  And if it’s in the Bible, that’s the way it should be.

Now I know the Democrats will not support this nor anyone who claims to be a liberal - - a bunch of pansies is what they are!.  This is another reason to vote Republican - - they are a lot more likely to agree and do something about this situation than those bunch of pinkos who think everyone ought to be equal.  They don’t even believe in capitalism.  So, show you are a real American and contact your local candidates; it all starts at the local level; and with enough grassroots support, I think our State legislature would be receptive given the chance.

Richard E H Phelps

Mingo

Batman

 BATMAN

Batman and Robin living in Mingo; who would have thought!  The Batmobile is well serviced and ready to go at all times.  Batmobile is capitalized purposefully - - there is only one and it is special and deserves capitalization.

Few knew that the famous duo had made their home in Mingo, but it's true. After their recent nuptials, they thought Mingo would be a good place to set up shop.  No kidding!   I was as surprised as you when I found out that the crime fighting duo were actually denizens of Jasper County.  As many have done before, they decided to reside and have their bat cave just inside the county line to save on property taxes even though they spend much of their time in Des Moines fighting crime and rounding up ne-er-do-wells.

This doesn't mean they don't do good deeds in Jasper County, because they do; usually in the middle of the night though.  Being active at night when most of the crime occurs is good policy:  they don't get in the way of daily commerce and are able to maintain a low profile both.  A win-win for all.  

Now, I've never heard mention that our local sheriff and the famous duo ever act in concert, but I would be willing to bet they do and have for some time.  It's not something the Sheriff wants to broadcast.  First, no one would believe him; and second, they would think he would be ingesting cannabis products.  Neither view would do him much credit with the general public who generally still believe that mental disturbances and marijuana products derive from dark places inhabited by ghouls and goblins.

Robin is concerned, though,  about this letter to the editor; especially about the part about their marriage.  He was very concerned that it would cause unnecessary grief in their crime fighting efforts since the general consensus is that gay people are effeminate and certainly would not make good crime fighters and would cause the criminal class to take them on when confronted.  But I'll tell you true, don't mess with Robin or Batman; it will be a short session and you will want to have your insurance paid up.

And don't come looking for them; they are not interested in gawkers and don't give autographs - - they are crime fighters and sleeping when not fighting crime.  And you will not get a ride in the Batmobile - - not happening.  So, even though you now know they are here and protecting you while you sleep, put it out of your mind.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

You're Being Negative

 YOU'RE BEING NEGATIVE

Has anyone ever said to you, "You're just being negative!"?  You should be really pleased if so.  It signifies that you actually have given something some thought.  Usually, much to the surprise of the person who has called you "negative".  I can't think of anything I'd rather be called than "negative".  

Being negative indicates that you, the person being called negative, thinks that the other person, the person calling you negative, is either being stupid or acting in a stupid manner - - which are really the same thing, one simply being more pronounced than the other.  Being negative is simply a polite way of saying to the other person "That is really stupid".  You're simply being polite and you shouldn't be criticized for that, now should you?

So let's give those being negative a break for a change.  They are simply being polite when someone does or says something stupid.  The problem usually is the person from whom the statement issues does not recognize the fact that the "negative person" is simply trying to be polite - - more evidence of little understanding.  No thought processes are recognizable.  The first effort  to be made by the person saying stupid things or acting in a stupid manner should be to make an effort to understand their own stupidity.  At times stupidity is a learned trait and can be corrected - - not often, but sometimes.

The person calling you negative is really in a confessional mode.  They are confessing they are stupid or are acting in a stupid manner.  And as a matter of kindness, you may not want to bring it to their attention other than by simply being negative.  Calling someone stupid is not necessary, when simply disagreeing is enough.  The conversation could devolve into name calling by one person saying the other is stupid and the other person saying the other is being negative and so forth and so on.  

One could easily, in a discussion of negativity, go way beyond the spatial limitations of a short article such as this.  It really could lead to a whole series of thought processes with no clear end in sight  - - possibly book length.  I'm sure that others in the history of printing have commented on negativity.  Maybe Kant or Hegel for instance, but I can't say since I've read neither.  Let's just say that being negative is really not a negative quality, but in fact a positive quality that should be recognized more generally.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo