Put'tem in Prison!

 PUT'TEM IN PRISON!

I'm so excited, as a criminal defense attorney, that our Iowa legislature is once again thinking: 'incarceration'.  As they well know, incarcerating people solves all kinds of things.  The down side, and there is always a down side, is that with the current payment schedule for us criminal defense attorneys here in Iowa, few are interested in this new business model.  The local repairman gets paid far more than a court appointed attorney so the more criminals we produce the better.  We'll make up for it in quantity what we lose in quality.

I see from the Des Moines Register that the new idea, you would think it had never been thought of before, is to make a 20 year mandatory sentence for those who persist in not doing what they are told or otherwise persistently not behaving themselves.  From what one would gather listening to our legislators, the two most pressing issues for us Iowans are criminal behavior and property taxes.  Apparently, there is too much of both.

And, as I said at the top, being a criminal defense attorney, I can't argue with either notion.  What more can you ask than an increase in business opportunity and less expense while doing it. I can only applaud our legislature in their continued effort to make life better for those in my profession.  We might even have to build a new prison.  I'm sure numerous communities will vie for its location in or near their local area - - a great economic opportunity for their unemployed.

We have learned, I presume correctly without further analysis, that leading the world in incarceration, us, the U.S., is of tremendous benefit. Not only does it take so many unproductive people from the streets and ghettos of our cities, it alleviates many nuisances and improvident behavior from our smaller towns and communities throughout Iowa.  After all, who wants continued pilfering from places such as Walmart or HyVee or the wandering homeless when a solution is immediately available - - prison!

Being the sociologists they are, our legislators read up on all of our county attorney and law enforcement annual proposals on how to make us safer and immediately get to work.  Safety is the concern - - as it should be.  One needs to be able to do whatever one wants whenever one wants without hindrance from those who don't have the means to do whatever they want whenever they want.  Pretty simple really.

So, I must applaud any new effort to make more criminals and for keeping them locked up longer.  Who needs such people wandering around making life less idyllic than it should be.  Not necessary.  It's especially a win - win for those in my profession - - more business at less cost; and as for the general public, they can relax more comfortably in their beds at night knowing that there are fewer people stealing  tools from the garage while they slumber or the Amazon delivery off the porch that shows up whenever.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo