The Boogeyman

 THE BOOGEYMAN

Once again it is time to turn our attention to the new legislative session that will begin in January.  I'm sure that our representatives and senators are simply aching to get back to Des  Moines to do the public's business.  Nothing like the attention and money and publicity for those so engaged - - a thrill a minute.

I know - - the Boogeyman!  It's time to turn our attention to the perennial problem, the Boogeyman.  It simply must be addressed before our current crop of legislators either leave office or are defeated at the polls.  The Boogeyman is responsible for most of the mischief currently creating distress and disgruntlement.  Whatever complaints you as a citizen may have, you can be sure that the Boogeyman is responsible.

Therefore, I suggest that we get our little gnomes at the statehouse to work on legislation banning any books, magazines, newspapers, pamphlets, or other writings, viral or actual, discussing or in any way mentioning Boogeymen.  This is not something that our young minds should be introduced to until after graduation from K-12 when presumably they will be able to cope having been properly isolated from all contact with Boogeymen until their minds have reached some form of adulthood and they are deemed able to handle the stress of confrontation.

There are just certain things that young minds should not be exposed to.  We have a long list of such things such as gay people, transgender people, furries, people whose ancestors did not come from Germany or Holland, to name just a few, which should not, and I repeat should not, be addressed at all; and Boogeymen must be added to this list.   

Let's just remember that we have standards that need to be maintained which need to be reflected in that paragon of school activities - - the homecoming pageant.  Can you just imagine a Boogeyman being  the homecoming king?  Not going to happen folks.  Not on our watch.  

Our elected representatives need to plan to meet this issue now.  Things are moving fast and quick and strong remedial steps are needed while such a thing is still incipient.  I can think of nothing more disgusting than our homecoming pageants being besmirched with such unorthodoxy.  Get on your computers and smartphones now and contact your elected representatives about this issue.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo