The Sporting Life

 

THE SPORTING LIFE

Having a sporting life is normally just  being a fan. Of course, one can play pickleball on a Sunday afternoon, but isn't that for exercise for old people?  I'm a fan.   Rooting for my favorite teams, one in each sport of course, is not engaging in sports, it accomplishes nothing - - it is a nil.  When I am watching a sporting event whether it be professional or my kid playing soccer or  whiffle ball, I accomplish nothing.  And this is the purpose of sports for those who are not actually participating in the "game": to accomplish nothing.

The premier example would be the World Cup.  It was difficult not to stop in, to one channel or another, to see who was winning, who was expected to win, and the crowds present to live and die with their country's team.  And then to see the crowds swell in cities around the world as their team had one success after another.  Another example is American football which currently has religious overtones and glues the eyes of millions to the screens to watch game after game of college and professional football every weekend (and now during the week).

And if it is not football, then basketball, baseball, softball, track and field, and hundreds, and I do mean hundreds, of other "sports" all the way to cornhole.  Watching a sporting event of any kind can be intoxicating, thrilling, depressing, exhilarating, and murderous - - it is feeling producing.  A sporting event produces feelings. It has as its function the production of feelings which produces the most important function of all, the production of income.

The latest sale of a professional football team will reach a billion dollars.  Who pays a billion dollars for a football team?  Those who want a second billion dollars.  A billion dollars is a lot of cash.  Those with a billion dollars understand that in order to make a billion dollars you have to have a billion dollars.  Money reproduces - - it has a high gestation rate.  And the production of feelings is a first-rate method of grabbing that second billion.

The other benefit of sporting activities is that it restrains millions of people from doing anything at all for significant periods of time.  If a person is sitting in front of the TV or in the stands, he or she is not causing anyone any trouble, nor is he or she producing anything worthwhile.  They are simply engaged in the creation of feelings: fleeting,  intense, self-generating feelings.  

This is our current life - - our feelings.  I can feel depressed in the first quarter of a football game, hopeful in the second quarter, anxious in the third quarter, and gleeful in the fourth.  All in two hours - - how great is that? - - a lifetime of emotion in two hours.  Better than a 800 hundred page novel, that's for sure.

However, my understanding, my appreciation of life, the content of my knowledge has not increased in any sense having just watched the Yankees beat the Minnesota Twins.  My understanding, my appreciation of life, my store of knowledge has increased not at all having seen Judge hit another homer to win the game.  Nothing in my life has improved nor lessened because of the two hours I spent sitting in front of a TV with or without friends, with or without food and drink.  

What I have accomplished is spending two hours of a finite lifetime watching someone else play a game.  When one gives this just a little bit of thought, one suddenly realizes that it really is, throughout a life, a vast amount of time without accomplishment.  But then again, most people have a vast amount of time with which to do nothing; their lives are basically without meaning or significance anyway.  I get it. I recently clicked on a channel showing a game of beach volleyball.  Apparently tall, lithesome men and women are paid to play volleyball on a beach in front of spectators and cameras.  Why would an adult, a semi-intelligent person, spend a minute of his or her life watching four people hit a ball over a net in the sand?  I have no answer.  We really have reached a new low in human non-activity.  But let us go elsewhere for the moment.

It is clear that sporting events have been occurring since communities have arisen.  And I must say, having the satisfaction of your team beating another team is certainly better than having a war between the two and this is a positive reason for sporting events.  When two Mayan cities had a sporting contest, it had the same function as a sporting contest today between St. Louis and Kansas City, it gives the populace something to do on their days off rather than rioting or just being a general nuisance and causing unnecessary work for law enforcement.

It would seem to me that this massive use of time in watching sporting events is indicative that we really have too many people on this planet without anything to do.  And if this is true, I will have to admit that it is better to have them engaged in viewing a sporting event than burglarizing my car or garage simply because they have too much time on their hands and are bored.  Committing a burglary is exciting, but it does not have the full range of emotion an athletic contest gives.  It is not as satisfying in that regard.  So in conclusion, if you don't have anything better to do, watch a sporting contest and declare a favorite so that you can have a whole bunch of feelings.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo