Player One

  PLAYER ONE

It's time to pick on Brad Zaun again in our Books for Bigots series. If you are not aware, Senator Zaun is the well-known Republican literary critic of the Iowa Senate.  Having just finished Player One by Douglas Coupland it is time for another recommendation for the possibility of banning or burning.  Now Senator Zaun will not find people with gender issues in Player One although the group that find themselves trapped in a bar outside of an airport when the price of oil goes over 900 dollars a barrel along with an acid storm of some sort will most assuredly not meet with the Senator's approval.

It has never been very clear what would meet with Senator Zaun's approval in a novel - - maybe the Wizard of Oz.  Although finding that the Wizard was a fraud could conceivably have a chilling effect on the Senator's opinion.  Coupland's book has a sniper who not only shoots someone, but scalps the deceased, which we finally learn through the divination by the beautiful girl, is the shooter's father.  Apparently dad made off with the shooter's wife sometime in the past which caused hard feelings.  We also have a pastor who decided to bail on his congregation and departed with the $20,000 building fund.  Worse, he gave no indication of being contrite.  

As I say we do have the required beautiful girl with issues:  (1) a structural anomaly in the limbic system, (2) prosopagnosia, (3) the lack of subjective qualities like humor and irony.  These personal traits, however, did not inhibit her from having an egg fertilized by the bartender during the lockdown where she, the bartender, the cross country hookup, the pastor thief, the male hookup who was killed by the sniper early on, waited out the disaster occurring on the streets.  It was quite a disaster; just think - - $900 a barrel oil and an acid storm.

Clearly none of the characters in this novel will find approval from the good Senator although I'm not sure that it will reach the "disgusting" level.  Snipers and thieves do not seem to be disgusting since they are now somewhat normal behavior   and long distance hook ups and thieves, although not within the scope of approval, seemingly do not reach the "disgusting" level as denoted by Senator Zaun.  These Books for Bigots discussions raise two questions:  (1) Is it a book  recommended to Senator Zaun for his personal edification;  or,  (2) is this a book which should be banned or publicly burned so that our children will not have access to it in school libraries.

I recommend all books to the Senator under the presumption he hasn't read any; secondly there really isn't anything in the book that would require banning or burning.  The impregnation was without detail so even if sex were to have occurred necessarily, innocent ears would not be subjected to details on how that may have occurred.  After all most children in America understand where babies come from fairly soon in their educational progression thanks to extensive extracurricular activities.  Sex sans marriage, however, is borderline banning and burning material.  Unfortunately since half the planet is so engaged it is difficult for our Senator to do anything other than simply fume and cast disparaging remarks.

In conclusion, Player One, with caveats, is not a candidate for banning or burning but should be read by our resident literary critic Brad Zaun.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

It's Not a Sign

 IT'S NOT A SIGN

The commonest fallacy of which I am aware and contend with almost daily is the idea that if you can write your name, you are literate - a sign of literacy.  This is not the case.  One of the more lugubrious actions by our court system was increasing the written guilty plea form from two pages to nine pages with many lines for signatures and boxes for check marks, etc.  

The assumption by those responsible for the new guilty plea form must be that the information on these nine pages is important and the people for whom it is meant, meaning defendants, will read and acknowledge that they have carefully read the nine pages of typewritten material to which they have entered check marks, initialed, or otherwise acknowledged.  In the minds of the originators, it is important that the defendant understand what the defendant is doing.         

The assumption referenced in the last paragraph has no basis in reality and the source of it must have been the collective imagination of a panel or conference or some other gathering of legal minds interested in protecting the rights and privileges of the people we represent as criminal defense attorneys.  

The vocabulary of a typical defendant does not exceed a thousand words and the ability to correctly spell those thousand words does not exist.  Some would say, that if this is so, it is the responsibility of the attorney to ensure that defendants understand what they are signing in some other manner such as verbally.  This is simply wishful thinking; it is not possible.

The fact is defendants do not know what they are signing other than a plea of guilty to some charge for which their attorney has told  them it is the best deal available - "you're not getting a better offer".  This is the situation whether the defendant is required to read the document being presented or it is verbally read by the attorney.  The idea that comprehension occurs is an absurdity.

Most defendants, the staggering majority, when asked what the sentence was for which they were placed on a current probation can not tell you.  They know they are on probation and have to report to a probation officer.  They also know their discharge date.  This is the limit of the knowledge the typical probationer has.  It is all that matters - - when do I get off probation?

So let's be real here.  The typical defendants are not literate but are able to sign their name to a document to indicate that they are.  They are in fact lying to the court when they attest that they have read and understand what they were to have read and the court recognizes that they are lying as does the defense attorney and the prosecutor and the court reporter and all who may witness the transaction.  It is an accepted practice and a necessary one.

One last caveat: If you are or have been a defendant who actually reads this, don't get in a toot; acknowledge the fact you are an exception.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Recommendation (2)

 RECOMMENDATION (2)

In my endeavor to recommend books to bigots, I next discuss, briefly GENERATION A, again by Douglas Coupland.  I'm slowly working my way through his novels and other offerings for the search of appropriate reading material for people having a particular mindset that is normally unmoved by either adversity or novelty.

In this book, we have the harvesting of DNA and possibly other body parts, of people without their knowledge for the purpose, of what else, profit.  Through chemistry and modern technology, it has become possible to use the essence (not clearly defined) of people being mined to manufacture a drug that will sell in the zillions.  Once used, as with most pleasurable substances, the more it is used, the more it is purchased.  So, in this book, the essence of others is in high demand.

Interestingly, the folks being harvested don't realize this until the end of the novel when all becomes clear.  Not a very tricky plot, but since it is a simple plot with a twist, many bigots will find it an acceptable read.  Interesting to my mind, being raised in Mahaska County, Iowa, one of the main characters is from Oskaloosa, the county seat of Mahaska County.  Hence, all bigots from Iowa and especially from Mahaska County should have special interest in the work.

Now there are not any actual bigots portrayed in the book so it is safe for a bigot to read.  It is clear that bigotry is not limited to certain beliefs or categories; bigotry can appear in the most surprising places; but in whatever form, bigots become uncomfortable or angry when confronted with other bigots who are not bigoted in the same way.  Unless one associates with other similar bigots, one can become significantly discomfited.  For instance, a bigot in the US will not approve of an Iranian bigot nor will the Iranian bigot approve of the US bigot.  This is one of those interesting quandaries facing bigots, they don't approve of each other any more than they approve of those who evince no bigotry.

In summary, GENERATION A will offer little offense to the normal bigot, hence appropriate for their perusal.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

The Transition

 THE TRANSITION

It has begun - the transition.  We are beginning slowly.  It has been, for four years now, Biden's fault.  Just generalized fault.  According to our erstwhile representative, Ms. Marionette Miller-Meeks  it is now Biden-Harris's fault.  The fault is expanding.  It now includes the vice-president, previously ignored totally, now gaining fault points.  Most surely before the election it will be Harris only.  Why blame a lame duck.

The new fault is the lack of after school child labor at fast food establishments.  Apparently our governor and Ms. Miller Meeks think  our kids should have longer after school work hours than the feds think appropriate and our local businesses are suffering because of it.  They could hire legal or illegal immigrants to solve the problem, but Oh No!  Not that.  Rather we would rather have our children learning how to flip hamburgers and turn out ice cream treats to other adolescents with money to burn.  Money may be needed to buy another pair of sneakers.  What could be more important?

But we do need to commend our congresswoman once again in identifying a  problem.  Biden and Harris are impeding our kids from earning money and learning the trade of flipping burgers or making  tacos.  It is federal bureaucrats who are causing the conflict and fining small businesses when they violate the laws passed by Congress and enforced by the Bureau of Labor. It needs to stop.  She or Reynolds should get on the phone and find somebody to talk to about this. 

Our local governor and legislature do have it right, though.  Kids need to work so that small businesses, such as MacDonald's, Burger King, Subway, Hardee's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Jimmy John's, et al, can make a decent profit.  What can be more important than a kid putting in hours at work after being at school all day? They don't even have to know how to make change any longer.  It's a snap.  And they don't need to participate in extra-curricular activities either.  Those activities don't add much to a kid's education; work is better.  Why go to band practice or theater or speech practice after school when work is to be had.   We need to keep our priorities straight in this country.  Of course, football practice might be an exception.

In any event, the transition has begun.  Whatever the issues are, whatever problems exist, it is now the fault of Biden and Harris.  It really is surprising that we have missed this connection for the last four years; soon it will be just Harris, though, who we blame for whatever and deservedly so.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

A Recommendation

 A RECOMMENDATION

THE GUM THIEF by Douglas Coupland is the first to be considered for Books for Bigots.  It is first simply for the fact that I just finished it.  For those in the not-know, Coupland is a Canadian and first came to fame as the Author of GENERATION X.

The question posed here, as will be the case always, is whether this is a book that should be recommended to bigots.  Roger, one of the employees of a Staples superstore apparently does not have enough satisfaction in his career as an aisle attendant administering to the pen and pencil displays and is consequently writing a novel, Glove Pond, which is a novel about novelists, sections of which are presented throughout. 

This might possibly be a book  a bigot should consider.  Bigotry itself is not attacked here and that alone should meet the threshold for consideration.  Most bigots would not initially be annoyed by the tone of the book except for the fact that the characters working at the Staples superstore don't appear to be that satisfied with their career of shelving reams of copy paper, sorting staplers, maintaining order in pens and pencils,  and other necessities for an office.  One must keep up with the latest innovations in computing and copying which does require a minimum of training, but how much effort does that take?

The problem would be, after a number of pages, that the employees of Staples superstore portrayed in the novel have no particular defining characteristic other than they are dissatisfied with their existence as aisle clerks at a Staples superstore.  This, as well, applies to Roger who is the one employee attempting to do something interesting. The other employees find the manuscript and subsequently make Roger's existence at work untenable. Such an episode would be pure bigotry if it weren't for the fact that bigotry was not the cause, but simple unpleasantness, which although a core characteristic of bigotry is not its purpose.

Another of the principal characters, Bethany, began as Goth and at the end returns to Goth.  This would not please the average bigot. So what we have here is a disgruntled employee writing a novel about novelists and a Goth personality resumed.  Oh, and one customer who is all cynicism, who must be included in the cast of characters any practicing bigot would censure outright.  Bigots do not acknowledge cynicism, but are actually cynics unacknowledged.   Cynicism, when considered as a major portion of one's character, forms the basis of bigotry. It's cynicism cloaked.

The issue, as always, is whether to recommend this book to bigots.  They would not be pleased with what they read.  They may not be deeply offended as they would with some other tomes, but again, having to view other humans disliking their lives would not set well with most bigots. Although the foundation for bigotry is a morbid dissatisfaction with one's own life, they must display a contempt for others.  How else can they accept their own existence?  

So, weighing the option,  I do recommend the book to bigots for the reason that the characters presented have lives as unsatisfactory as their own and the knowledge that others can be as unsatisfied with their lives as they themselves are could be of some assistance in ameliorating their bigotry.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Books for Bigots

 BOOKS FOR BIGOTS

I have decided on a new endeavor to be called Books for Bigots.  This will apply to all, if not most, of the books that I will be reading - - normally novels.  At a minimum,  99.9% of the populace will be unfamiliar with the  named titles.  Now if you don't read books, are you a bigot?  Not necessarily, but there is a presumption.

The many who have recently read a book, any book, are not counted in the army of bigotry populating the planet.  The time allotted to reading a book, in our presumably highly functioning economy, is normally minimal; but with the desire, and if time allows, to read a book is possible and is actually accomplished by those few who attempt it.  So, it can be done.

But what book in the limited time available?  As the recent efforts to ban fiction have had a certain success, it would be appropriate if these banned books were to be selected.  But this is not to be the case.  If a particular banned book is featured in a particular article, it is simply serendipity.  I do not have THE LIST normally available and it is irrelevant in that bigots would ban most books if allowed.

It is the presumption here, and I believe adequately substantiated by statistics, that bigots don't read books.  Therefore, to their mind, an exploratory effort in presenting a book will always be suspect.  The articles themselves will take a mere two to four minutes to read, presuming the average ability to read and will give the reader a quick idea of a few of the pertinent ideas presented in the novel discussed. 

Possibly my effort will encourage a few to actually read the book discussed or to pick up another for a rainy day.  It does take time to read a book and the first hurdle is to convince yourself that reading a book may be preferable to some other activity such as pickleball, corn hole, or ax throwing.

The other often mentioned and presumed downside in reading a book is that you are really not doing much for the economy.  We have convinced ourselves that the economy is very important to our well being.  Books are cheap and they take time - not lucrative to oneself or others - - they don't generate a lot of income.  Depending on your ability to read, a book could take days or even weeks and this is time you could be out making money or otherwise being productive (making money).  Not only are you not increasing the GNP when you read a book, but you are not engaging in a social activity causing others to complain about how you would rather read a book then talk to them, i.e., being anti-social.

Being social, rather than reading, brings up another serious deficiency in our civilization.  Very few people actually know how to have a conversation.  Relating the highlights of the last baby shower you attended does not form the basis of a conversation.  Missing out on a social outing such as a backyard barbecue with the extended family or the neighborhood should not be considered  a social flaw, but a safety device from the fatigue of boredom.  But this topic is for another time.

In short, the Books for Bigots, will be an attempt to convince those who profess convincibility, that reading a book is not a waste if one is at all interested in becoming aware of what one was not previously aware of.  And the hope is that one would possibly become less bigoted than before reading a book.  After all, a novel presents people living on the same planet and often in the same country who are not like us, do not think like us, and do not act like us; something bigots have a difficult time accepting but which would be beneficial to all if they could.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

What's for Supper?

 WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?

It occurred to me, many things do, to ask what Adam and Eve had for supper.  On any given night, that is.  I'm wondering if they were vegetarians.  They would almost have to be, wouldn't they?  Otherwise, they would have had to kill their supper with their bare hands.  And even more of an issue, they would have had to eat it raw presumably since there is no mention of fire.  Prometheus had not yet appeared.

Adam and Prometheus had much in common.  Neither one would do what they were told.  Adam ate an apple and Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to us humans.  We have both to thank.  Apple pie would be impossible without either.  I'm thinking that Prometheus, whose liver is still being devoured by an eagle, has an edge here.

Since there is no mention of fire in Eden, apparently they didn't need it. The idea would be that vegetarians don't need fire.  One's diet would have been rather limited.  Was the fruit that they were to dine on seasonal?  That is another question not answered.  Which brings the next question, just what did they eat.  What about protein?  Without much effort, they might be able to eat insects like grasshoppers and such, but one thought leads to another especially regarding insects.  What about mosquitos?  There is no mention of mosquitos?  

Wandering around naked in the woods would be considerably uncomfortable, especially at night when all the bugs that bite come out in full force.  And malaria, what about malaria?  If there were no mosquitos in the Garden, then they would have had to be created later and there is no info on that.  None of these things, and possible other difficulties, are  mentioned in Genesis.  It seems to me that the whole story is lacking in detail.  We have all been told about how wonderful the Garden of Eden was, but after some thought, questions arise.  

Have you noticed, thought always causes issues.  Once you begin thinking about something, it gets complicated.  Knowing that complication is anathema to most, thought is normally to be avoided.  It simply causes problems.  There is no sense in causing unnecessary stress and grief.  And besides, what difference does it make to us now, here in the 21st century, whether there were mosquitos in the Garden of Eden? 

So once again, one thought leads to another in random paths.  We begin with eating an apple and end with being eaten by mosquitos.  Again why should we concern ourselves with these issues is the question.  Most of us will not care one way or the other whether Adam and Eve were molested by mosquitos and other biting insects, but then again, some of us will care deeply so it may very well be worth thinking about.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo