Life Will Be Better

 LIFE WILL BE BETTER

Life will be better, or at least I presume so, after we load freight trains full of immigrants and deposit them in some desert in northern Mexico.  Now I personally don't know any illegal immigrants, nor do I know anyone that does know any, so I haven't felt personal fear from them; but life will obviously be better, more secure, and idyllic if we get rid of them.  

How do I know this?  It has to be.  The major issue raised in the last national election was illegal immigration.  In speeches, editorials, and satellite news, we have heard the constant refrain of the awfulness of this hoard of people coming across the border uninvited. There must be a rather striking difference between an invited immigrant and an uninvited immigrant.  Apparently there is sufficient danger in this hoard of illegals to frighten the most stalwart.  The danger increases daily.  Loading up trainloads of immigrants is of such importance that the whole country must be reminded daily of the danger of not accomplishing this.  The danger is imminent.  We must all be on board with this homeland cleansing sort of thing.

Obviously the danger must be to our way of life, our wellbeing, our very existence.  It has to be.  One can not go through a day in contact with others either at work, at the gym, or attending some sporting event, without hearing random comments of the dangers posed by illegal immigrants.  I've even heard say that they come armed with high powered weapons and backpacks full of fentanyl. We  certainly don't condone this behavior and the quicker we get rid of several million of these people and finish building that wall between us and Mexico, all will be well.  Those who say so have convinced me.

The word I used "those" is a key here.  Apparently everyone knows more than I do.  I try to be somewhat up on national and world events by subscribing to a few newspapers and monthly publications but I'll be darned if I have felt any impending doom.  Now I have been told, by a neighbor actually (not in Mingo) that there is an apartment in New Jersey with a group of illegal immigrants with high-powered firepower.  Our governor has sent Iowa State troopers to the border to help control this flood of drugs and criminals coming into the United States.  There was one illegal immigrant that was convicted of a heinous sex crime somewhere here in the States.  Apparently and clearly I should be more aware.

So the facts speak for themselves; they have to go.  Our well being depends on us being rid of these people.  Just because we make their lives even more miserable than it already is should not deter us.  Our lives and comfort are what count.  Always has been and always will be.  Just because you are miserable, have nothing, and nowhere to go, this is not my problem.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Let's Organize

 LET'S ORGANIZE

I have always thought that  a union, or some other like organization, should be developed by criminals.  In other words, criminals should get together and organize to present a united front to the authorities.  Of all the people in the country that are  unrepresented when it comes to laws and government policy, criminals are the most underrepresented.  And simply having your own lawyer to represent you in court really doesn't accomplish what a union could do.  A lawyer is required to have only your best interest in mind, not the criminal class in general.

This under-representation is purposeful.  As an example, a standard rule of probation or parole is that you should not associate with other people on probation or parole, which dictum alone is made to insure that criminals do not get together and organize.  A union of criminals would be a direct assault on government authority or so assumed.  This needs to be addressed first. It is not only necessary but in my opinion unconstitutional to determine who a person can associate with or not.  You know, what if my wife is a felon as well?  This happens.

But when you stop and think about it, what group of people are treated more poorly and with more contempt than people who have been defined and marked as criminals.  The State, whichever State one may be referring to, has made, does continue to make, and will, apparently, always make more criminals and this is to be encouraged.  After years practicing criminal law, it has become clear to me that the laws creating ever yet more crimes have one primary purpose - - additional control of the public, those who are supposedly the reason government is instituted in the first place, which is to make life more agreeable.  Defining a person as a criminal, especially as a felon, is certainly at cross purposes with this raison d'etre. 

Just think of the things that criminals, as organized, could address:  length of sentences, amount of fines and court costs,  conjugal visits,  work release, jail food, ankle bracelets, various rules that restrict where you can live and what you can do, etc.  Pamphlets of explanation could be provided for all those who are arrested  Among the standard jail issue when being arrested, such a pamphlet would give instructions on who to contact for union membership along with a list of bondsmen and attorneys.

One issue you may want to consider is the obvious necessity of  renewing membership ranks with death or rehabilitation always at cross purpose; and even though new criminals join the ranks continually through existing laws, more are always welcome.   It would not be unexpected that any organization of criminals would encourage state and federal legislators to continue to enact more crimes every  legislative session.  The more criminals, the bigger the organization, the more effective their action.  In addition, it would help my business as a criminal defense attorney.  Our legislators increase my workload every year in any event, which I'm duly thankful for, for if there weren't any crime, I'd have to find something else to do.

Newton is a perfect place to begin such an effort as well.  It was for many decades a union town with Maytag here making appliances that were shipped worldwide.  There must be some expertise left in the community that could advise and instruct in the nuances of organizing and maintaining a union and one can only hope that those with this expertise would be willing to assist in such a worthwhile endeavor.

The criminal organization, or preferably the criminal union, could, while encouraging laws that  increase their numbers, at the same time develop action plans for better treatment once a person is so classified.  These two things are not incompatible contrary to first appearance.  We want more members to make our demands more demanding and at the same time we want improvement in our circumstances once we are classified as a criminal.  Seems reasonable to me.

One last thought on the subject is warranted.  There must be an effort to convince those who simply get tickets for speeding that they are just as much a criminal as a burglar or robber.  I know that this might be a stretch for some, but a proper educational effort should ameliorate any objection.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

In the Case of Staton

 IN THE CASE OF STATON

 As I have previously mentioned, it would seem necessary to have a reasonably informed public about matters of possible importance 

to them.  Since I am a criminal defense attorney, I try to stay informed of criminal developments coming out of our Supreme Court which may have some relevance. 

In the case of Staton, the Iowa Supreme Court held that a defendant being sentenced after a guilty verdict does not have the right to say, at sentencing,  that he was offered a lower charge and fewer years in prison if he had just plead guilty pursuant to a plea offer.  Obviously, the prosecutor was willing to allow the defendant a lesser charge and a less harsh penalty if he would have plead guilty  so the State would not have had to go to the time, trouble, and expense of a trial; after all there is even a rule of procedure that says you can't mention plea discussion or offers in any preceding, criminal or civil.  It has been encoded.

All well and good you say.  However, there needs to be some discussion.  I expect 98% of all criminal cases are resolved by a plea of guilty, normally to a lesser charge or fewer charges than were filed.  So, if you get charged with 18 traffic violations and the deal is if you plead guilty to nine of them, nine will be dismissed, you take the offer. If every criminal case that is filed were to be tried, every one, the judicial system would break down in a day.  What I mean is that if every person charged with a crime when appearing in court said not guilty it would be over - finished - done.

So what our legislators and courts have done is to make sure that the process is correctly administered; that is ensuring plenty of convictions with the minimum amount of work:  It is a matter of handling the thousands of cases that come before the courts.  And law enforcement understands this so they file every charge they can think of when they take you to jail.

If you have committed some heinous crime (such as driving while barred) but the prosecutor offers to reduce the charge to a simple misdemeanor which carries 30 days in jail instead of two years in prison and you refuse and are convicted and the prosecutor gets up before the court and tells the judge you are a risk to society and should go to prison for two years or at least spend six months in county, you are not allowed to tell the judge that the prosecutor didn't think you were such a bad fellow when he previously offered a lesser charge and less time incarcerated.  On the surface of things, this doesn't seem very fair.

The rationale of the Court goes like this: "A contrary holding might have a chilling effect on plea offers; some prosecutors presumably would be deterred from extending a plea offer if the defendant in his allocution could later argue  the plea offer supports a lighter sentence".  This one statement of the Court holds a dozen different issues, none of which are addressed.

What happens is, if you continue to proclaim your innocence, which you certainly have the right to do, and are convicted regardless, you subject yourself to a harsher penalty than you were offered with a plea.  Is there any question as to why 98% of all crimes are disposed of by plea?  Efficiency is necessary.  In the system we have built where the criminal law's primary function  is to control the public, this is how it has to go.   You are a bad guy if you commit a crime and a really bad guy if you go to trial.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Lilliput

                                                                           LILLIPUT

                                          Jonathan Swift

Books for Bigots

You'll have to give it to Gulliver, he knew when his welcome was done and time to vacate the premises.  After pissing on the palace things became a little toasty and the consensus was that he was to be blinded for his transgression.  The animosity had grown in certain quarters for several reasons including the amount that it cost to maintain Gulliver in nourishment.   It apparently was draining the treasury, although it would seem to me that feeding him, just by itself, would have resulted in full employment but the economics of that must be left for a different discussion.

The question remains, 'what can we recommend for reading material to Bigots?'.  It remains a constant that Bigots very seldom read a book but it would seem beneficial to the remainder of the population if we could somehow convince a Bigot or two to relax with one occasionally.  Gulliver's Travels might be a good place to start. 

This would have several benefits.  The first benefit would be the time actually reading.  This would be a period, however momentary, that the Bigot would not be pestering someone else about their behavior or beliefs - - a welcome relief for many.  A second possible benefit, and I say possible advisedly, a person, even a Bigot, might learn something from reading.  

Obviously it depends on the book, but even a superman comic might benefit some Bigots;  for instance, the semi-literate.  But back to Gulliver's Travels Part One, Guliver having pissed on the palace in an act of concern for the Princess and the beautiful palace; and indeed, saving the palace certainly and possible the life of the Princess, was put in jeopardy by the long-standing law that one shall not piss within the palace grounds, the punishment being death. That seems a little stiff for taking a leak near or on the palace, but as we all know the law is the law and must be obeyed.  Apparently there are no mitigating circumstances in Lilliput.

The Emperor did, however, take notice of Gulliver's previous assistance in destroying an invading fleet from Belfuscu  bent on destroying Lilliput and carrying off its inhabitants.  In recognition of this the Emperor decided Gulliver could live, allowing the   sentence' severity to be  decreased from death to blinding, neither of which meeting with the approval of Gulliver he departed and made his way back to England.

So what we have learned, mere reinforcement for most of us, is that no good deed goes unpunished.  It is uncertain if most Bigots are aware of this adage.  It has gone into common use so one might presume most Bigots to be familiar with it, but since doing good deeds is not something Bigots are commonly known for, it might actually be a tale worth the time. 

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Just Buy It!

 JUST BUY IT!

The grocery bill is too high, cars are too expensive, college is exorbitant, going to a movie costs a fortune.  We think about these things pretty much continuously.  What to buy and when is the theme of life - - can we afford it, can we save enough to buy one?  We need information; we need to do some research; what does Consumer Reports say about it?  We want a lot of stuff, some of which we will acquire and some of which we won't.

Let's do a little searching, for the cost of what we want is important to us.  We all want stuff,  the lower the price, the better off we are and the more stuff we can buy, so we need to be informed.  Maybe we are missing a deal that is available online somewhere.  We certainly don't want to miss anything.

So I say, let's take a small sampling of our knowledge of available products.   The questionnaire will look something like this: What newspapers do you subscribe to and read?  What periodicals do you take and read?  What books have you read lately?  What news organizations do you tune into while in the car or changing the oil of your lawn mower? 

The answer I get is usually none (maybe one).  The purpose of this exercise is to illustrate our level of awareness. This idea of such a questionnaire was occasioned by a piece I read about citizenship (a possibly outmoded concept no longer in circulation).  The list of requirements of a citizen began with the requirement of being informed.  

Unfortunately, we don't consider ourselves citizens, we consider ourselves consumers.  The idea of being informed, in the sense of citizenship, does not include the price of a hamburger and fries at the local fast food establishment or the cost of a box of imported raspberries at the supermarket.  What it does include is an understanding of the society in which we live and who is in charge.

A second criteria is being involved.  Involvement also requires time; time of which we have little to spare.  The week is work and the weekend is for football and shopping.  One hasn't the time to either read a newspaper or attend a meeting about some civic improvement or new policy or legislation being proposed.  "Don't bother me with that stuff, it doesn't concern me."

Unfortunately there are people in power who have plans for you and me and we really should know who these people are and what they want to do - - and we don't.  I suggest that we spend a little less time thinking about what to buy next and think a little about the people we put in power and what they have planned for us.  Our future will depend, not on the price of chicken breasts, but on who is in charge and what they do once they get there.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

The Arrest

THE ARREST

Jonathan Lethem

Books for Bigots

THE ARREST might just be inoffensive enough for a Bigot to navigate.  It has a minimum of sex  and no non-white people.    And it is apocalyptic - - everything quit working:  No machines, electrical or  otherwise.  The event was called The Arrest.              

The exception is the Blue Streak, a nuclear powered, big round ball of impregnable material with enough nuclear powered devices to protect itself from all attacks.  The location of the action is a communal enclave on the coast of Maine where the residents have managed to feed themselves and maintain their community and who seem to be quite content without any knowledge of the planet and how everyone else is coping.  I thought inciteful, was a line in the book occurring early: "The U.S. wasn't replaced with a next thing.  It was replaced by wherever one happened to be".

No one knows what happened to the rest of humanity and apparently they don't care.  The only knowledge of the outside world is from Peter Todbaum, the operator of the Blue Streak, from his trek in the Blue Streak from Malibu to Maine and his adventures in route. The  main character/narrator Alexander Duplessis, otherwise referred to as Sandy or Journeyman is the connection between Todbaum and these small communities on the coast of Maine such as East Tinderwick and Spodosol.  

Apparently the communities are being protected by a group called the Cordon who periodically show up to threaten or dine or destroy stuff.  We're not very clear about where they come from or what they do otherwise.  The presumption is that they are maintaining a vigil not allowing other people to settle in the communities or even allowing visitors.   They were unable to impede the progress of the Blue Streak, although they tried and suffered some casualties which caused some hostility.

What also makes this book an acceptable read to most Bigots is the apocalyptic event, a future firmly established in the imaginations of most Bigots.   The inhabitants of these communities appear to be self-sustaining nutrition wise.  Now what happens when things begin to break and are not replaced does not seem to concern them. "Damn, my hoe broke.  What do I do now?"

The locals decide that the Blue Streak must go and they capture it and make a lighthouse out of it (in case a Frenchman shows up in a rowboat) - - they have rejected what has disappeared and they appear quite content to live without any form of modernity. There is no attempt to use the Blue Streak to their advantage, but only to exclude it and make it as non-functioning as possible.  Considering this is the only power source available to them, it seems odd they would refuse to utilize it; much unlike what THE SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON would have done.

Of course, there isn't much discussion about what will happen when someone needs an ambulance or an emergency room, or what may occur when a person's blood pressure meds run out, or when a broken bone needs setting.  We have a serious lack of reflection from the inhabitants.  With everyday food, bed, and clothes to wear, there isn't much to think about apparently; and, winter hasn't set in yet.  There is a library which Journeyman would like to utilize but is occupied by a squatter who doesn't allow access. 

Most Bigots will feel right at home here with the exception that there does not appear to be an organized form of control.  Without the ability to control others in their thoughts and activities, Bigots feel insecure and anxious.  But  East Tinderwick and Spodosol, having no government, would be ripe for one with police and other forms of control since there are none at present.  All in all, it would appear that this book is one that a Bigot would, in the main, find inoffensive and be able to read.  

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Gun, With Occasional Music

 GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC

Jonathan Lethem

Books for Bigots

Another in the series of Books for Bigots now includes GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC (1994) by Jonathan Lethem.  One may ask why I write these articles about the books that I have read when most people, if not all, are not in the least interested in what I have to say about them.  First, they are an effort to steer Bigots away from books that might offend them in some way.  Bigots, as we all know, are easily offended.

Secondly, the world doesn't need any more writers, it needs more readers.  There are thousands of books being published. scooted out of the publishing houses into an eternity of oblivion.  Almost all do not  make a ripple in the public consciousness.  This is unfortunate.  Books take time and thought to write and many provide either knowledge or incite into our lives or the age we live in.

Thirdly, authors actually garner some pleasure knowing that someone has read their book and, further, has taken the time to think about it.  A pat on the back as you might say.  The internet as we know is a powerful medium in which to publish your thoughts, if any you might have; and, it is easy, as you can see from my efforts.

I don't consider myself an expert in anything and I am not a literary critic as they are in academia or intellectual circles.  But I do read books and it seems to me a good thing to publicly comment  on them whether the comments have any value or not; hence, GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC.  This is what appears to be a mystery with a seedy, unsuccessful, vulgar, and addicted private investigator, Conrad Metcalf, who in the book is referred to as a "private inquisitor".  There are some interesting features to the book:  prison sentences are referred to as "the freezer".  One is frozen for the number of years to which they are sentenced and awoken when the sentence is completed.  The now ex-con has no memory of the years frozen; it's as if they didn't miss a day.

The authorities are pretty much the bad guys though and this will not set well with Bigots since most Bigots rely on the authorities to reign in the most egregious behavior.  There isn't much sex, but what there is is fairly graphic.  Once again, the modern world does not view sex as as some sort of metaphysical event to be enjoyed by unhappily married couples only.  There is some violence and apparently everyone is using "make" - - a powdered form of mental enhancement.   This I know would fall outside the ambit of Bigotry approval - - one does not rely on illegal or legal mind enhancing or altering drugs to make it through the day.

So once again, it must be said that GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC is not for Bigots.  They simply would not be able to cope with the life depicted in the book and it is better that they don't attempt to read it.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

GIRL IN LANDSCAPE

 GIRL IN LANDSCAPE

Jonathan Lethem

Books for Bigots

You would think that this book, GIRL IN LANDSCAPE, might be an appropriate book for a Bigot, but then again questionable, as one thinks about it further.  A family, the Marsh's,  moves to the planet of the Archbuilders which requires being frozen twenty months for the trip.  Not like moving to Costa Rica or somewhere similar because you no longer like the neighborhood.

The problem is that humans have destroyed earth and everyone lives underground.  Apparently the lack of ozone in the atmosphere will allow the sunlight to kill you; you are required to wear a protective cone when going to the surface.  Not a good situation.  This is the first problem; most Bigots can not accept the idea that they, humans, are destroying their own habitat.  Once again we have in the first chapter a description of earth that most Bigots may not be comfortable with.  

A requirement for any Bigot is to deny the life in front of them and create some fictional, usually conspiratorial in nature, account of reality that meets with their ideas of how things ought to be, not as what they actually are.  Hence, it would be unlikely that a true Bigot would venture much further into the book than the first chapter establishing the premise that earth is literally cooked.

But once on the planet of the Archbuilders, one finds most of the original inhabitants, the Archbuilders, have moved on to other planets and what civilization remains is in ruins with a few of the original inhabitants remaining.  A person could draw the conclusion that the setting and interactions between the remaining archbuilders and the incoming humans, have an uncanny resemblance to the settlement of North America by Europeans and their interactions with and view of the original inhabitants where once again the original inhabitants must conform to the habits and customs of the newcomers if they are to survive further.

What the deciding factor very well may be in any decision regarding the acceptability of this book for Bigots are the allegations made against a couple of archbuilders of some sexual exploration between an archbuilder and a human.  The reaction is historically typical and certainly would meet with the approval of most Bigots.  One was killed and another almost killed, but saved by the main character who unfortunately did not believe in killing  based on false allegations.  The idea that such discrimination was not approved of by the main character nor the author would be another variable in any decision of a Bigot to not read this book.

Whether the allegations of sexual indiscretions are true is unclear. The allegations were meant to cause the archbuilders' demise in unseemly ways.  But, alas,  in the  end we have what appears to be a future of  harmonious fellowship between the remaining archbuilders and remaining humans. This would likely be rather unseemly to certain readers.  Hence, in the final analysis, this book is not one that would be enjoyed by a Bigot.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo