It's Not a Sign

 IT'S NOT A SIGN

The commonest fallacy of which I am aware and contend with almost daily is the idea that if you can write your name, you are literate - a sign of literacy.  This is not the case.  One of the more lugubrious actions by our court system was increasing the written guilty plea form from two pages to nine pages with many lines for signatures and boxes for check marks, etc.  

The assumption by those responsible for the new guilty plea form must be that the information on these nine pages is important and the people for whom it is meant, meaning defendants, will read and acknowledge that they have carefully read the nine pages of typewritten material to which they have entered check marks, initialed, or otherwise acknowledged.  In the minds of the originators, it is important that the defendant understand what the defendant is doing.         

The assumption referenced in the last paragraph has no basis in reality and the source of it must have been the collective imagination of a panel or conference or some other gathering of legal minds interested in protecting the rights and privileges of the people we represent as criminal defense attorneys.  

The vocabulary of a typical defendant does not exceed a thousand words and the ability to correctly spell those thousand words does not exist.  Some would say, that if this is so, it is the responsibility of the attorney to ensure that defendants understand what they are signing in some other manner such as verbally.  This is simply wishful thinking; it is not possible.

The fact is defendants do not know what they are signing other than a plea of guilty to some charge for which their attorney has told  them it is the best deal available - "you're not getting a better offer".  This is the situation whether the defendant is required to read the document being presented or it is verbally read by the attorney.  The idea that comprehension occurs is an absurdity.

Most defendants, the staggering majority, when asked what the sentence was for which they were placed on a current probation can not tell you.  They know they are on probation and have to report to a probation officer.  They also know their discharge date.  This is the limit of the knowledge the typical probationer has.  It is all that matters - - when do I get off probation?

So let's be real here.  The typical defendants are not literate but are able to sign their name to a document to indicate that they are.  They are in fact lying to the court when they attest that they have read and understand what they were to have read and the court recognizes that they are lying as does the defense attorney and the prosecutor and the court reporter and all who may witness the transaction.  It is an accepted practice and a necessary one.

One last caveat: If you are or have been a defendant who actually reads this, don't get in a toot; acknowledge the fact you are an exception.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Recommendation (2)

 RECOMMENDATION (2)

In my endeavor to recommend books to bigots, I next discuss, briefly GENERATION A, again by Douglas Coupland.  I'm slowly working my way through his novels and other offerings for the search of appropriate reading material for people having a particular mindset that is normally unmoved by either adversity or novelty.

In this book, we have the harvesting of DNA and possibly other body parts, of people without their knowledge for the purpose, of what else, profit.  Through chemistry and modern technology, it has become possible to use the essence (not clearly defined) of people being mined to manufacture a drug that will sell in the zillions.  Once used, as with most pleasurable substances, the more it is used, the more it is purchased.  So, in this book, the essence of others is in high demand.

Interestingly, the folks being harvested don't realize this until the end of the novel when all becomes clear.  Not a very tricky plot, but since it is a simple plot with a twist, many bigots will find it an acceptable read.  Interesting to my mind, being raised in Mahaska County, Iowa, one of the main characters is from Oskaloosa, the county seat of Mahaska County.  Hence, all bigots from Iowa and especially from Mahaska County should have special interest in the work.

Now there are not any actual bigots portrayed in the book so it is safe for a bigot to read.  It is clear that bigotry is not limited to certain beliefs or categories; bigotry can appear in the most surprising places; but in whatever form, bigots become uncomfortable or angry when confronted with other bigots who are not bigoted in the same way.  Unless one associates with other similar bigots, one can become significantly discomfited.  For instance, a bigot in the US will not approve of an Iranian bigot nor will the Iranian bigot approve of the US bigot.  This is one of those interesting quandaries facing bigots, they don't approve of each other any more than they approve of those who evince no bigotry.

In summary, GENERATION A will offer little offense to the normal bigot, hence appropriate for their perusal.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

The Transition

 THE TRANSITION

It has begun - the transition.  We are beginning slowly.  It has been, for four years now, Biden's fault.  Just generalized fault.  According to our erstwhile representative, Ms. Marionette Miller-Meeks  it is now Biden-Harris's fault.  The fault is expanding.  It now includes the vice-president, previously ignored totally, now gaining fault points.  Most surely before the election it will be Harris only.  Why blame a lame duck.

The new fault is the lack of after school child labor at fast food establishments.  Apparently our governor and Ms. Miller Meeks think  our kids should have longer after school work hours than the feds think appropriate and our local businesses are suffering because of it.  They could hire legal or illegal immigrants to solve the problem, but Oh No!  Not that.  Rather we would rather have our children learning how to flip hamburgers and turn out ice cream treats to other adolescents with money to burn.  Money may be needed to buy another pair of sneakers.  What could be more important?

But we do need to commend our congresswoman once again in identifying a  problem.  Biden and Harris are impeding our kids from earning money and learning the trade of flipping burgers or making  tacos.  It is federal bureaucrats who are causing the conflict and fining small businesses when they violate the laws passed by Congress and enforced by the Bureau of Labor. It needs to stop.  She or Reynolds should get on the phone and find somebody to talk to about this. 

Our local governor and legislature do have it right, though.  Kids need to work so that small businesses, such as MacDonald's, Burger King, Subway, Hardee's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Jimmy John's, et al, can make a decent profit.  What can be more important than a kid putting in hours at work after being at school all day? They don't even have to know how to make change any longer.  It's a snap.  And they don't need to participate in extra-curricular activities either.  Those activities don't add much to a kid's education; work is better.  Why go to band practice or theater or speech practice after school when work is to be had.   We need to keep our priorities straight in this country.  Of course, football practice might be an exception.

In any event, the transition has begun.  Whatever the issues are, whatever problems exist, it is now the fault of Biden and Harris.  It really is surprising that we have missed this connection for the last four years; soon it will be just Harris, though, who we blame for whatever and deservedly so.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

A Recommendation

 A RECOMMENDATION

THE GUM THIEF by Douglas Coupland is the first to be considered for Books for Bigots.  It is first simply for the fact that I just finished it.  For those in the not-know, Coupland is a Canadian and first came to fame as the Author of GENERATION X.

The question posed here, as will be the case always, is whether this is a book that should be recommended to bigots.  Roger, one of the employees of a Staples superstore apparently does not have enough satisfaction in his career as an aisle attendant administering to the pen and pencil displays and is consequently writing a novel, Glove Pond, which is a novel about novelists, sections of which are presented throughout. 

This might possibly be a book  a bigot should consider.  Bigotry itself is not attacked here and that alone should meet the threshold for consideration.  Most bigots would not initially be annoyed by the tone of the book except for the fact that the characters working at the Staples superstore don't appear to be that satisfied with their career of shelving reams of copy paper, sorting staplers, maintaining order in pens and pencils,  and other necessities for an office.  One must keep up with the latest innovations in computing and copying which does require a minimum of training, but how much effort does that take?

The problem would be, after a number of pages, that the employees of Staples superstore portrayed in the novel have no particular defining characteristic other than they are dissatisfied with their existence as aisle clerks at a Staples superstore.  This, as well, applies to Roger who is the one employee attempting to do something interesting. The other employees find the manuscript and subsequently make Roger's existence at work untenable. Such an episode would be pure bigotry if it weren't for the fact that bigotry was not the cause, but simple unpleasantness, which although a core characteristic of bigotry is not its purpose.

Another of the principal characters, Bethany, began as Goth and at the end returns to Goth.  This would not please the average bigot. So what we have here is a disgruntled employee writing a novel about novelists and a Goth personality resumed.  Oh, and one customer who is all cynicism, who must be included in the cast of characters any practicing bigot would censure outright.  Bigots do not acknowledge cynicism, but are actually cynics unacknowledged.   Cynicism, when considered as a major portion of one's character, forms the basis of bigotry. It's cynicism cloaked.

The issue, as always, is whether to recommend this book to bigots.  They would not be pleased with what they read.  They may not be deeply offended as they would with some other tomes, but again, having to view other humans disliking their lives would not set well with most bigots. Although the foundation for bigotry is a morbid dissatisfaction with one's own life, they must display a contempt for others.  How else can they accept their own existence?  

So, weighing the option,  I do recommend the book to bigots for the reason that the characters presented have lives as unsatisfactory as their own and the knowledge that others can be as unsatisfied with their lives as they themselves are could be of some assistance in ameliorating their bigotry.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Books for Bigots

 BOOKS FOR BIGOTS

I have decided on a new endeavor to be called Books for Bigots.  This will apply to all, if not most, of the books that I will be reading - - normally novels.  At a minimum,  99.9% of the populace will be unfamiliar with the  named titles.  Now if you don't read books, are you a bigot?  Not necessarily, but there is a presumption.

The many who have recently read a book, any book, are not counted in the army of bigotry populating the planet.  The time allotted to reading a book, in our presumably highly functioning economy, is normally minimal; but with the desire, and if time allows, to read a book is possible and is actually accomplished by those few who attempt it.  So, it can be done.

But what book in the limited time available?  As the recent efforts to ban fiction have had a certain success, it would be appropriate if these banned books were to be selected.  But this is not to be the case.  If a particular banned book is featured in a particular article, it is simply serendipity.  I do not have THE LIST normally available and it is irrelevant in that bigots would ban most books if allowed.

It is the presumption here, and I believe adequately substantiated by statistics, that bigots don't read books.  Therefore, to their mind, an exploratory effort in presenting a book will always be suspect.  The articles themselves will take a mere two to four minutes to read, presuming the average ability to read and will give the reader a quick idea of a few of the pertinent ideas presented in the novel discussed. 

Possibly my effort will encourage a few to actually read the book discussed or to pick up another for a rainy day.  It does take time to read a book and the first hurdle is to convince yourself that reading a book may be preferable to some other activity such as pickleball, corn hole, or ax throwing.

The other often mentioned and presumed downside in reading a book is that you are really not doing much for the economy.  We have convinced ourselves that the economy is very important to our well being.  Books are cheap and they take time - not lucrative to oneself or others - - they don't generate a lot of income.  Depending on your ability to read, a book could take days or even weeks and this is time you could be out making money or otherwise being productive (making money).  Not only are you not increasing the GNP when you read a book, but you are not engaging in a social activity causing others to complain about how you would rather read a book then talk to them, i.e., being anti-social.

Being social, rather than reading, brings up another serious deficiency in our civilization.  Very few people actually know how to have a conversation.  Relating the highlights of the last baby shower you attended does not form the basis of a conversation.  Missing out on a social outing such as a backyard barbecue with the extended family or the neighborhood should not be considered  a social flaw, but a safety device from the fatigue of boredom.  But this topic is for another time.

In short, the Books for Bigots, will be an attempt to convince those who profess convincibility, that reading a book is not a waste if one is at all interested in becoming aware of what one was not previously aware of.  And the hope is that one would possibly become less bigoted than before reading a book.  After all, a novel presents people living on the same planet and often in the same country who are not like us, do not think like us, and do not act like us; something bigots have a difficult time accepting but which would be beneficial to all if they could.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

What's for Supper?

 WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?

It occurred to me, many things do, to ask what Adam and Eve had for supper.  On any given night, that is.  I'm wondering if they were vegetarians.  They would almost have to be, wouldn't they?  Otherwise, they would have had to kill their supper with their bare hands.  And even more of an issue, they would have had to eat it raw presumably since there is no mention of fire.  Prometheus had not yet appeared.

Adam and Prometheus had much in common.  Neither one would do what they were told.  Adam ate an apple and Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to us humans.  We have both to thank.  Apple pie would be impossible without either.  I'm thinking that Prometheus, whose liver is still being devoured by an eagle, has an edge here.

Since there is no mention of fire in Eden, apparently they didn't need it. The idea would be that vegetarians don't need fire.  One's diet would have been rather limited.  Was the fruit that they were to dine on seasonal?  That is another question not answered.  Which brings the next question, just what did they eat.  What about protein?  Without much effort, they might be able to eat insects like grasshoppers and such, but one thought leads to another especially regarding insects.  What about mosquitos?  There is no mention of mosquitos?  

Wandering around naked in the woods would be considerably uncomfortable, especially at night when all the bugs that bite come out in full force.  And malaria, what about malaria?  If there were no mosquitos in the Garden, then they would have had to be created later and there is no info on that.  None of these things, and possible other difficulties, are  mentioned in Genesis.  It seems to me that the whole story is lacking in detail.  We have all been told about how wonderful the Garden of Eden was, but after some thought, questions arise.  

Have you noticed, thought always causes issues.  Once you begin thinking about something, it gets complicated.  Knowing that complication is anathema to most, thought is normally to be avoided.  It simply causes problems.  There is no sense in causing unnecessary stress and grief.  And besides, what difference does it make to us now, here in the 21st century, whether there were mosquitos in the Garden of Eden? 

So once again, one thought leads to another in random paths.  We begin with eating an apple and end with being eaten by mosquitos.  Again why should we concern ourselves with these issues is the question.  Most of us will not care one way or the other whether Adam and Eve were molested by mosquitos and other biting insects, but then again, some of us will care deeply so it may very well be worth thinking about.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Guns, Guns, Guns

 GUNS, GUNS, GUNS

Clearly, the lucidity of our congresswoman, Marionette Miller-Meeks, is unparalleled.  She has once again uncovered and enunciated the evils of "not having a gun".  Guns are important.  Protection is important. Self-defense is important.  One would almost think we were all living under an interstate overpass at the mercy of illegal truckers and other sorts of riff-raff from overseas here on work visas and such.

And Biden is responsible - - we know this for certain.  He  has in his employ "unelected bureaucrats" who are determined to take our guns.  Not only that, but they, the "unelected bureaucrats", want to make gun owners criminals, especially disabled veterans.  All this has presumably been ferreted out from the leakage of secret bureaucratic memos and other arcane sources.

Apparently the new issue is the stabilizing brace which can be attached to "legally-purchased firearms".  Being none too familiar with this particular device, I had to google it.  The stabilizing brace is now considered by the ATF to be an SBR.  Once again, I was required to google the terminology.  An SBR is a short-barreled rifle which apparently has historically caused some concern with the folks at the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

This new interpretation by the ATF, according to our representative, will create millions of new criminals - - formerly law-abiding gun owners.  As I have stated previously, I am always in favor of more criminals being a criminal defense attorney so I will have to come down on the side of the ATF on this one.  After all, business is business.  So I say to representative Miller-Meeks, let it go will you; let the government turn these disabled veterans into criminals needing representation.

The representative references Final Rule 2021R-o8F effective 31 January 2023.  Apparently, the significance of this rule has just become apparent to Ms. Miller-Meeks.  Better late than never.  So if I'm not mistaken, all these disabled veterans Ms. Miller-Meeks referenced have been criminals since 31 January 2023.  I must have missed it.  Either that or they all get charged in federal court which I try to avoid; but you think you would hear about it someplace.  Surely all these disabled veterans getting charged criminally for having an SBR would hit the news somehow.

In conclusion, once again thanks are owed to our elected officials for keeping on top of these issues and informing the public of the insidious efforts of these "unelected bureaucrats" to not only take our firearms, but to make more criminals.  

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo