Books for Bigots

 BOOKS FOR BIGOTS

I have decided on a new endeavor to be called Books for Bigots.  This will apply to all, if not most, of the books that I will be reading - - normally novels.  At a minimum,  99.9% of the populace will be unfamiliar with the  named titles.  Now if you don't read books, are you a bigot?  Not necessarily, but there is a presumption.

The many who have recently read a book, any book, are not counted in the army of bigotry populating the planet.  The time allotted to reading a book, in our presumably highly functioning economy, is normally minimal; but with the desire, and if time allows, to read a book is possible and is actually accomplished by those few who attempt it.  So, it can be done.

But what book in the limited time available?  As the recent efforts to ban fiction have had a certain success, it would be appropriate if these banned books were to be selected.  But this is not to be the case.  If a particular banned book is featured in a particular article, it is simply serendipity.  I do not have THE LIST normally available and it is irrelevant in that bigots would ban most books if allowed.

It is the presumption here, and I believe adequately substantiated by statistics, that bigots don't read books.  Therefore, to their mind, an exploratory effort in presenting a book will always be suspect.  The articles themselves will take a mere two to four minutes to read, presuming the average ability to read and will give the reader a quick idea of a few of the pertinent ideas presented in the novel discussed. 

Possibly my effort will encourage a few to actually read the book discussed or to pick up another for a rainy day.  It does take time to read a book and the first hurdle is to convince yourself that reading a book may be preferable to some other activity such as pickleball, corn hole, or ax throwing.

The other often mentioned and presumed downside in reading a book is that you are really not doing much for the economy.  We have convinced ourselves that the economy is very important to our well being.  Books are cheap and they take time - not lucrative to oneself or others - - they don't generate a lot of income.  Depending on your ability to read, a book could take days or even weeks and this is time you could be out making money or otherwise being productive (making money).  Not only are you not increasing the GNP when you read a book, but you are not engaging in a social activity causing others to complain about how you would rather read a book then talk to them, i.e., being anti-social.

Being social, rather than reading, brings up another serious deficiency in our civilization.  Very few people actually know how to have a conversation.  Relating the highlights of the last baby shower you attended does not form the basis of a conversation.  Missing out on a social outing such as a backyard barbecue with the extended family or the neighborhood should not be considered  a social flaw, but a safety device from the fatigue of boredom.  But this topic is for another time.

In short, the Books for Bigots, will be an attempt to convince those who profess convincibility, that reading a book is not a waste if one is at all interested in becoming aware of what one was not previously aware of.  And the hope is that one would possibly become less bigoted than before reading a book.  After all, a novel presents people living on the same planet and often in the same country who are not like us, do not think like us, and do not act like us; something bigots have a difficult time accepting but which would be beneficial to all if they could.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

What's for Supper?

 WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?

It occurred to me, many things do, to ask what Adam and Eve had for supper.  On any given night, that is.  I'm wondering if they were vegetarians.  They would almost have to be, wouldn't they?  Otherwise, they would have had to kill their supper with their bare hands.  And even more of an issue, they would have had to eat it raw presumably since there is no mention of fire.  Prometheus had not yet appeared.

Adam and Prometheus had much in common.  Neither one would do what they were told.  Adam ate an apple and Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to us humans.  We have both to thank.  Apple pie would be impossible without either.  I'm thinking that Prometheus, whose liver is still being devoured by an eagle, has an edge here.

Since there is no mention of fire in Eden, apparently they didn't need it. The idea would be that vegetarians don't need fire.  One's diet would have been rather limited.  Was the fruit that they were to dine on seasonal?  That is another question not answered.  Which brings the next question, just what did they eat.  What about protein?  Without much effort, they might be able to eat insects like grasshoppers and such, but one thought leads to another especially regarding insects.  What about mosquitos?  There is no mention of mosquitos?  

Wandering around naked in the woods would be considerably uncomfortable, especially at night when all the bugs that bite come out in full force.  And malaria, what about malaria?  If there were no mosquitos in the Garden, then they would have had to be created later and there is no info on that.  None of these things, and possible other difficulties, are  mentioned in Genesis.  It seems to me that the whole story is lacking in detail.  We have all been told about how wonderful the Garden of Eden was, but after some thought, questions arise.  

Have you noticed, thought always causes issues.  Once you begin thinking about something, it gets complicated.  Knowing that complication is anathema to most, thought is normally to be avoided.  It simply causes problems.  There is no sense in causing unnecessary stress and grief.  And besides, what difference does it make to us now, here in the 21st century, whether there were mosquitos in the Garden of Eden? 

So once again, one thought leads to another in random paths.  We begin with eating an apple and end with being eaten by mosquitos.  Again why should we concern ourselves with these issues is the question.  Most of us will not care one way or the other whether Adam and Eve were molested by mosquitos and other biting insects, but then again, some of us will care deeply so it may very well be worth thinking about.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Guns, Guns, Guns

 GUNS, GUNS, GUNS

Clearly, the lucidity of our congresswoman, Marionette Miller-Meeks, is unparalleled.  She has once again uncovered and enunciated the evils of "not having a gun".  Guns are important.  Protection is important. Self-defense is important.  One would almost think we were all living under an interstate overpass at the mercy of illegal truckers and other sorts of riff-raff from overseas here on work visas and such.

And Biden is responsible - - we know this for certain.  He  has in his employ "unelected bureaucrats" who are determined to take our guns.  Not only that, but they, the "unelected bureaucrats", want to make gun owners criminals, especially disabled veterans.  All this has presumably been ferreted out from the leakage of secret bureaucratic memos and other arcane sources.

Apparently the new issue is the stabilizing brace which can be attached to "legally-purchased firearms".  Being none too familiar with this particular device, I had to google it.  The stabilizing brace is now considered by the ATF to be an SBR.  Once again, I was required to google the terminology.  An SBR is a short-barreled rifle which apparently has historically caused some concern with the folks at the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

This new interpretation by the ATF, according to our representative, will create millions of new criminals - - formerly law-abiding gun owners.  As I have stated previously, I am always in favor of more criminals being a criminal defense attorney so I will have to come down on the side of the ATF on this one.  After all, business is business.  So I say to representative Miller-Meeks, let it go will you; let the government turn these disabled veterans into criminals needing representation.

The representative references Final Rule 2021R-o8F effective 31 January 2023.  Apparently, the significance of this rule has just become apparent to Ms. Miller-Meeks.  Better late than never.  So if I'm not mistaken, all these disabled veterans Ms. Miller-Meeks referenced have been criminals since 31 January 2023.  I must have missed it.  Either that or they all get charged in federal court which I try to avoid; but you think you would hear about it someplace.  Surely all these disabled veterans getting charged criminally for having an SBR would hit the news somehow.

In conclusion, once again thanks are owed to our elected officials for keeping on top of these issues and informing the public of the insidious efforts of these "unelected bureaucrats" to not only take our firearms, but to make more criminals.  

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

It's a Novel

 IT'S A NOVEL

- - with a memoir as its base.  The novel Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe is declared disgusting by one of our more enlightened Iowa senators.  Senator Zaun has declared "This book is disgusting and does not belong in our schools".  One can only presume that senator Zaun has read the book in order to declare it disgusting.

It would seem that senator Zaun is not what one would call a literary man - - one who reads literature - - for he apparently is not aware of the function of literature, in this case a novel based on the author's experiences growing up here in the United States.   This article is not an exercise in literary criticism nor a book report; it is simply an effort to give senator Zaun some idea, however faint, of the purpose in reading novels.  

Novels are not meant to be soothing nor nondisgusting - - some are disgusting and some aren't.  Novels, at least serious novels, one of which is Gender Queer, have several functions.  One function, and the most obvious, is to give the reader an idea of how other people live and their lives as they live it.  One can learn something about other people if one reads novels.  Normally, one's immediate circle of acquaintances are not much different from oneself and learning about other people can be beneficial, especially in an Iowa senator, who one would presume, is representing non-binary people as well as binary people.

Now Gender Queer shows the reader, in language understood by all, the issues a person has growing up when not like everyone else.  Growing up is difficult, something that senator Zaum has forgotten, but it is even more difficult when you are different.  Senator Zaun believes the book to be disgusting.  What he is saying is that the main character in the book is disgusting, not because he/she is going through the normal adolescent traumas, but because some of the traumas are shown explicitly and are different from what the senator has experienced or even thought about.

A second consideration we can take from senator Zaun's pronouncement is the underlying premise that senator Zaun's opinion is the only opinion that is allowable.  Apparently election to the Iowa Senate brings with it the authority that one may determine  opinion; that a senator's  standing in life is equivalent of having a special opinion status - - one who is able to decide what other's opinion will be, not just his own.

Unfortunately for senator Zaum, I and others will decide for ourselves what is disgusting and what is not.  And also I and others will actually have learned how difficult it is to grow up without a set or stable gender identity.  Gender identity does in fact exist whether senator Zaum wants to recognize it or not.  Some people who look male don't identify as male; some people who look female don't identify as female.  This is a fact that the readers of books, including Gender Queer, will learn which again is the function of reading novels written by people with something to say.  The result will be that you are not quite as ignorant as you were before reading the book.

So in closing, let's suggest to senator Zaun that we the readers  make our own determination as to what is disgusting and what is not and that he is not qualified to determine what we will have available to read if we are so inclined.  Possibly, the book might actually do him some good if he were to actually read it; his understanding would be enhanced.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Impeccable Logic

 IMPECCABLE LOGIC

One must give credit where credit is due.  Our senator, Joni Ernst, has proclaimed she will oppose judicial nominees, spending bills, and other legislation introduced by democrats in protest over the conviction of Donald Trump in the state court of New York.  The logic is impeccable.  A jury of twelve people in New York will now determine how our Iowa senator votes on appointments and legislation.

I personally would never have considered the connection between how our Iowa senator votes in Congress and the finding beyond a reasonable doubt of twelve people sitting in a courtroom in New York City.  One must applaud our senator for finding a connection and reacting so appropriately.  This is why we elect the people we do - - the ability to find cause and effect in such arcane matters.

She apparently is not alone in this reasoning process.  It is unclear whether she thought of this connection herself or another senator who has endorsed this reaction is responsible.  These include J. D. Vance of Ohio, Tommy Tuberville of Alabama, Eric Schmitt of Missouri, Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, Rick Scott of Florida, Roger Marshall of Kansas, Marco Rubio of Florida, Josh Hawley of Missouri, and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin.  I am unaware of any of our representatives reaching the same conclusion, but surely there must be some.

Regardless of whether senator Ernst came up with this logical process, or another senator is responsible, we must give credit where credit is due.  Even if she is not the senator responsible for finding the logic in this situation, senator Ernst has the ability to understand it and act accordingly and our appreciation is justly appropriate.  Many are not as astute as our senator and that is truly unfortunate.   The people we elect to represent us in Congress, especially the United States Senate where a mere 100 people determine the laws of this country and how we are seen around the world, is extremely important.

Senator Ernst has announced that she will run for re-election in 2026 and such pronouncements  as this will surely matter in that election.  It can only be of immense value for the public to know of the ability of our senator to find and act upon situations with such uncanny ability to see connections which many of us have failed to see.

Richard E H Phelps II
Mingo 

Fans of Felons

 FANS OF FELONS

Having practiced criminal law for many years, I have always subscribed to the notion that felons are people too and should be treated as such.  Not much has come from this notion in that most of the public have had the opinion that a felon is some substandard human being afflicted by some loathsome disease.  I am not of this opinion and never have been.  

Due to my profession, I have had the privilege of meeting, visiting, consulting, and representing hundreds, if not thousands of felons.  I number many as friends, associates, and clients.  They have the normal range of competency as the general public and go about their business on a daily basis as do most of us.  I find the general attitude toward felons as untoward to say the least.

We now have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to recognize felons as actual citizens, even if they can't vote.  Historically a few felons have been celebrated as quasi heroes; people such as Bonnie and Clyde, Jessie James, Billy the Kid, Capone, etc.  The underlying issues of lawlessness: theft, robbery, assault,  murder, etc. have merely been the methods of becoming folk heroes.

Of what I speak, and the circumstances of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, is the conviction of Donald Trump on thirty-four felony counts.  Who would have thought?  Suddenly we have a new folk hero who, having eluded criminal prosecution until almost eighty, is now a FELON!  The public loves it, they now have a new folk hero - - an unlikely one, but a hero nevertheless.  A man who has spent his life cheating, lying, suing, berating, and otherwise treating people poorly is now a felon and hence, a person legitimately recognizable as a folk hero.

What is needed is a nationally syndicated fan club - - Fans of Felons.  Now that we have this national movement to excoriate the judicial system and hence create a new folk hero, it is time that we move on this.  We need a Fan of Felons organization; a national organization dedicated to the enhancement of the felon image with the president of the United States as chief felon and spokesman for all those who subsist under the onus of felony.

It's no fun being a felon; it is difficult to find a place to live, a place to work, people to hang with other than fellow felons.  This new national support for felony should not be lost on us.  It is an opportunity that may not occur a second time.  So, I say we organize and formalize an organization and call it Fans of Felons.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Devastation Tours

 DEVASTATION TOURS

In  a true entrepreneurial spirit, new adventures abound.  One type of adventure that is currently booming is the tornado tour.  Numerous companies are now advertising them.  With climate change, it is becoming clear that this could almost be a year round business.  The midwest of the United States remains the center of this new industry but other areas are gaining.

Professional storm chasers are hired by these companies.  I'm not sure what constitutes a professional storm chaser, but this is the claim. Safety, they say, is the number one concern when close ups of tornados are the goal.  Hence,  the experience of the storm chasers leading the tours is an important factor in choosing which company to use.  These employees of the tornado tour companies are expert in identifying storm cells and transporting their customers really close to the action.

What is really memorable about storm chasing, and I call these adventures, devastation tours, are viewing the wreckage after the event.  This part of the viewing is the most fun.  Why simply watch a tornado when you can follow it up with a tour of the devastation.  If you're really lucky, you'll be able to find some people standing around piles of rubble that were their homes and getting their reactions to the loss of their houses.  If no one is present, keepsakes and souvenirs are for the taking.  Certainly no one is going to come looking to you for personal items you may have made off with thinking, quite logically, that the missing items simply got blown away.

Of course, the main event in such a tour is when you can arrive in time to find people looking for family members or pets or other such things.  These are really good photo opportunities.  Nothing beats the wailing of a young mother having just lost her child in the rubble.  An additional benefit to such a windfall is the ability to sell the photographs of these situations to newspapers, magazines, or online news aggregators.  You might even be able to cover the cost of the tour this way.  So, make sure you have the ability to take photos when chasing tornadoes, and take a lot of them.  You might not be able to find a man looking through the wreckage for his wife, but you might be able to add a storyline to the photos you do get that will sell.

So, once again, the true American entrepreneurial spirit is at work here.  This is what has made America great folks - the entrepreneurial spirit. And as the climate begins to change more and more, it is clear that we Americans will be in the forefront of the ability to profit from it.  We will continue to lead and we should be proud.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo