Lilliput

                                                                           LILLIPUT

                                          Jonathan Swift

Books for Bigots

You'll have to give it to Gulliver, he knew when his welcome was done and time to vacate the premises.  After pissing on the palace things became a little toasty and the consensus was that he was to be blinded for his transgression.  The animosity had grown in certain quarters for several reasons including the amount that it cost to maintain Gulliver in nourishment.   It apparently was draining the treasury, although it would seem to me that feeding him, just by itself, would have resulted in full employment but the economics of that must be left for a different discussion.

The question remains, 'what can we recommend for reading material to Bigots?'.  It remains a constant that Bigots very seldom read a book but it would seem beneficial to the remainder of the population if we could somehow convince a Bigot or two to relax with one occasionally.  Gulliver's Travels might be a good place to start. 

This would have several benefits.  The first benefit would be the time actually reading.  This would be a period, however momentary, that the Bigot would not be pestering someone else about their behavior or beliefs - - a welcome relief for many.  A second possible benefit, and I say possible advisedly, a person, even a Bigot, might learn something from reading.  

Obviously it depends on the book, but even a superman comic might benefit some Bigots;  for instance, the semi-literate.  But back to Gulliver's Travels Part One, Guliver having pissed on the palace in an act of concern for the Princess and the beautiful palace; and indeed, saving the palace certainly and possible the life of the Princess, was put in jeopardy by the long-standing law that one shall not piss within the palace grounds, the punishment being death. That seems a little stiff for taking a leak near or on the palace, but as we all know the law is the law and must be obeyed.  Apparently there are no mitigating circumstances in Lilliput.

The Emperor did, however, take notice of Gulliver's previous assistance in destroying an invading fleet from Belfuscu  bent on destroying Lilliput and carrying off its inhabitants.  In recognition of this the Emperor decided Gulliver could live, allowing the   sentence' severity to be  decreased from death to blinding, neither of which meeting with the approval of Gulliver he departed and made his way back to England.

So what we have learned, mere reinforcement for most of us, is that no good deed goes unpunished.  It is uncertain if most Bigots are aware of this adage.  It has gone into common use so one might presume most Bigots to be familiar with it, but since doing good deeds is not something Bigots are commonly known for, it might actually be a tale worth the time. 

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Just Buy It!

 JUST BUY IT!

The grocery bill is too high, cars are too expensive, college is exorbitant, going to a movie costs a fortune.  We think about these things pretty much continuously.  What to buy and when is the theme of life - - can we afford it, can we save enough to buy one?  We need information; we need to do some research; what does Consumer Reports say about it?  We want a lot of stuff, some of which we will acquire and some of which we won't.

Let's do a little searching, for the cost of what we want is important to us.  We all want stuff,  the lower the price, the better off we are and the more stuff we can buy, so we need to be informed.  Maybe we are missing a deal that is available online somewhere.  We certainly don't want to miss anything.

So I say, let's take a small sampling of our knowledge of available products.   The questionnaire will look something like this: What newspapers do you subscribe to and read?  What periodicals do you take and read?  What books have you read lately?  What news organizations do you tune into while in the car or changing the oil of your lawn mower? 

The answer I get is usually none (maybe one).  The purpose of this exercise is to illustrate our level of awareness. This idea of such a questionnaire was occasioned by a piece I read about citizenship (a possibly outmoded concept no longer in circulation).  The list of requirements of a citizen began with the requirement of being informed.  

Unfortunately, we don't consider ourselves citizens, we consider ourselves consumers.  The idea of being informed, in the sense of citizenship, does not include the price of a hamburger and fries at the local fast food establishment or the cost of a box of imported raspberries at the supermarket.  What it does include is an understanding of the society in which we live and who is in charge.

A second criteria is being involved.  Involvement also requires time; time of which we have little to spare.  The week is work and the weekend is for football and shopping.  One hasn't the time to either read a newspaper or attend a meeting about some civic improvement or new policy or legislation being proposed.  "Don't bother me with that stuff, it doesn't concern me."

Unfortunately there are people in power who have plans for you and me and we really should know who these people are and what they want to do - - and we don't.  I suggest that we spend a little less time thinking about what to buy next and think a little about the people we put in power and what they have planned for us.  Our future will depend, not on the price of chicken breasts, but on who is in charge and what they do once they get there.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

The Arrest

THE ARREST

Jonathan Lethem

Books for Bigots

THE ARREST might just be inoffensive enough for a Bigot to navigate.  It has a minimum of sex  and no non-white people.    And it is apocalyptic - - everything quit working:  No machines, electrical or  otherwise.  The event was called The Arrest.              

The exception is the Blue Streak, a nuclear powered, big round ball of impregnable material with enough nuclear powered devices to protect itself from all attacks.  The location of the action is a communal enclave on the coast of Maine where the residents have managed to feed themselves and maintain their community and who seem to be quite content without any knowledge of the planet and how everyone else is coping.  I thought inciteful, was a line in the book occurring early: "The U.S. wasn't replaced with a next thing.  It was replaced by wherever one happened to be".

No one knows what happened to the rest of humanity and apparently they don't care.  The only knowledge of the outside world is from Peter Todbaum, the operator of the Blue Streak, from his trek in the Blue Streak from Malibu to Maine and his adventures in route. The  main character/narrator Alexander Duplessis, otherwise referred to as Sandy or Journeyman is the connection between Todbaum and these small communities on the coast of Maine such as East Tinderwick and Spodosol.  

Apparently the communities are being protected by a group called the Cordon who periodically show up to threaten or dine or destroy stuff.  We're not very clear about where they come from or what they do otherwise.  The presumption is that they are maintaining a vigil not allowing other people to settle in the communities or even allowing visitors.   They were unable to impede the progress of the Blue Streak, although they tried and suffered some casualties which caused some hostility.

What also makes this book an acceptable read to most Bigots is the apocalyptic event, a future firmly established in the imaginations of most Bigots.   The inhabitants of these communities appear to be self-sustaining nutrition wise.  Now what happens when things begin to break and are not replaced does not seem to concern them. "Damn, my hoe broke.  What do I do now?"

The locals decide that the Blue Streak must go and they capture it and make a lighthouse out of it (in case a Frenchman shows up in a rowboat) - - they have rejected what has disappeared and they appear quite content to live without any form of modernity. There is no attempt to use the Blue Streak to their advantage, but only to exclude it and make it as non-functioning as possible.  Considering this is the only power source available to them, it seems odd they would refuse to utilize it; much unlike what THE SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON would have done.

Of course, there isn't much discussion about what will happen when someone needs an ambulance or an emergency room, or what may occur when a person's blood pressure meds run out, or when a broken bone needs setting.  We have a serious lack of reflection from the inhabitants.  With everyday food, bed, and clothes to wear, there isn't much to think about apparently; and, winter hasn't set in yet.  There is a library which Journeyman would like to utilize but is occupied by a squatter who doesn't allow access. 

Most Bigots will feel right at home here with the exception that there does not appear to be an organized form of control.  Without the ability to control others in their thoughts and activities, Bigots feel insecure and anxious.  But  East Tinderwick and Spodosol, having no government, would be ripe for one with police and other forms of control since there are none at present.  All in all, it would appear that this book is one that a Bigot would, in the main, find inoffensive and be able to read.  

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

Gun, With Occasional Music

 GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC

Jonathan Lethem

Books for Bigots

Another in the series of Books for Bigots now includes GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC (1994) by Jonathan Lethem.  One may ask why I write these articles about the books that I have read when most people, if not all, are not in the least interested in what I have to say about them.  First, they are an effort to steer Bigots away from books that might offend them in some way.  Bigots, as we all know, are easily offended.

Secondly, the world doesn't need any more writers, it needs more readers.  There are thousands of books being published. scooted out of the publishing houses into an eternity of oblivion.  Almost all do not  make a ripple in the public consciousness.  This is unfortunate.  Books take time and thought to write and many provide either knowledge or incite into our lives or the age we live in.

Thirdly, authors actually garner some pleasure knowing that someone has read their book and, further, has taken the time to think about it.  A pat on the back as you might say.  The internet as we know is a powerful medium in which to publish your thoughts, if any you might have; and, it is easy, as you can see from my efforts.

I don't consider myself an expert in anything and I am not a literary critic as they are in academia or intellectual circles.  But I do read books and it seems to me a good thing to publicly comment  on them whether the comments have any value or not; hence, GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC.  This is what appears to be a mystery with a seedy, unsuccessful, vulgar, and addicted private investigator, Conrad Metcalf, who in the book is referred to as a "private inquisitor".  There are some interesting features to the book:  prison sentences are referred to as "the freezer".  One is frozen for the number of years to which they are sentenced and awoken when the sentence is completed.  The now ex-con has no memory of the years frozen; it's as if they didn't miss a day.

The authorities are pretty much the bad guys though and this will not set well with Bigots since most Bigots rely on the authorities to reign in the most egregious behavior.  There isn't much sex, but what there is is fairly graphic.  Once again, the modern world does not view sex as as some sort of metaphysical event to be enjoyed by unhappily married couples only.  There is some violence and apparently everyone is using "make" - - a powdered form of mental enhancement.   This I know would fall outside the ambit of Bigotry approval - - one does not rely on illegal or legal mind enhancing or altering drugs to make it through the day.

So once again, it must be said that GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC is not for Bigots.  They simply would not be able to cope with the life depicted in the book and it is better that they don't attempt to read it.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

GIRL IN LANDSCAPE

 GIRL IN LANDSCAPE

Jonathan Lethem

Books for Bigots

You would think that this book, GIRL IN LANDSCAPE, might be an appropriate book for a Bigot, but then again questionable, as one thinks about it further.  A family, the Marsh's,  moves to the planet of the Archbuilders which requires being frozen twenty months for the trip.  Not like moving to Costa Rica or somewhere similar because you no longer like the neighborhood.

The problem is that humans have destroyed earth and everyone lives underground.  Apparently the lack of ozone in the atmosphere will allow the sunlight to kill you; you are required to wear a protective cone when going to the surface.  Not a good situation.  This is the first problem; most Bigots can not accept the idea that they, humans, are destroying their own habitat.  Once again we have in the first chapter a description of earth that most Bigots may not be comfortable with.  

A requirement for any Bigot is to deny the life in front of them and create some fictional, usually conspiratorial in nature, account of reality that meets with their ideas of how things ought to be, not as what they actually are.  Hence, it would be unlikely that a true Bigot would venture much further into the book than the first chapter establishing the premise that earth is literally cooked.

But once on the planet of the Archbuilders, one finds most of the original inhabitants, the Archbuilders, have moved on to other planets and what civilization remains is in ruins with a few of the original inhabitants remaining.  A person could draw the conclusion that the setting and interactions between the remaining archbuilders and the incoming humans, have an uncanny resemblance to the settlement of North America by Europeans and their interactions with and view of the original inhabitants where once again the original inhabitants must conform to the habits and customs of the newcomers if they are to survive further.

What the deciding factor very well may be in any decision regarding the acceptability of this book for Bigots are the allegations made against a couple of archbuilders of some sexual exploration between an archbuilder and a human.  The reaction is historically typical and certainly would meet with the approval of most Bigots.  One was killed and another almost killed, but saved by the main character who unfortunately did not believe in killing  based on false allegations.  The idea that such discrimination was not approved of by the main character nor the author would be another variable in any decision of a Bigot to not read this book.

Whether the allegations of sexual indiscretions are true is unclear. The allegations were meant to cause the archbuilders' demise in unseemly ways.  But, alas,  in the  end we have what appears to be a future of  harmonious fellowship between the remaining archbuilders and remaining humans. This would likely be rather unseemly to certain readers.  Hence, in the final analysis, this book is not one that would be enjoyed by a Bigot.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

The Sugar Frosted Nutsack Revisited

 THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK REVISITED

BOOKS FOR BIGOTS

One occasionally needs to rethink something that has earlier been thought.  In this instance, it is my pronouncement that THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK is a parody of modern life.  Having come across some other thoughts, and being unsatisfied with the simple description as parody when referring to the book, I am revisiting the book.  

This revisit does not reflect the view that, afterall, it is a book that would be read and cherished by Bigots.  That is not relevant to this discussion.  I recently came across a brief description of "postmodernism", a term that I have seen and read about and considered for a number of years without any understanding of what it signifies.  What "postmodern" was, in the description I read included the following:  "nonselection", "intentional indiscrimination", "logical impossibility", and "inclusivity".

Now these terms, in toto, do indeed describe THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK which leads me to believe that the book is a serious effort to reflect the postmodern condition of life as it currently exists and as we experience it.  However, I think, after further consideration, my description of the book as a parody is more correct than incorrect.

One can only see the world as Mark Leyner does as a grotesque parody of what life is or should be.  A function of literature, a function lost on Bigots of all varieties, is the effort to make us think about the world in which we live.  This THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK has done.  As I said earlier it is a difficult read with little context, no continuity except repetition, and a vast vocabulary with which to further make the reading of the material even more difficult.  It is in fact a parody and if this is so, so is postmodernism.  I am not a literary critic, but I do think that books are written not for literary critics but for people like me who read them for amusement, for understanding, out of boredom, or whatever reason that we have when we sit down with a book to read.  

I'm usually reading several books at once, usually depending where I am in the house.  In bed, I have THE PICKWICK PAPERS by Charles Dickens.  This was the one novel of his I never got read during the years I was reading Dickens.  I enjoy this book very much and find myself chuckling every few pages.  The characters are enjoyable, the plot is enjoyable, the settings are interesting, and for us living currently, it is a history.

Why mention THE PICKWICK PAPERS along side THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK?  I mention them together in this context because it is relevant to the discussion of postmodernism so called.  THE PICKWICK PAPERS reflects a world we can understand; THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK reflects a world we can not understand unless we do actually view it as a parody of modern life.

Are our lives more accurately depicted by Leyner or Dickens?  I want to think that our lives are more like the lives portrayed by Dickens, but in reality they may not be much different from what is shown us by Leyner and that thought is not a comforting one.  Hopefully my life has more coherence, continuity, and meaning than what THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK depicts, but again, I will have to give it some more thought.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo

The Cat Thing

 THE CAT THING

Being a criminal defense attorney, it seems only right that I share

a few of the criminal cases before our local courts; the citizens of our community should always be informed as much as possible of current policy and government activity that may affect them.   Such is the case with a person I know, whether professionally or otherwise need not be discussed, who was charged with animal abuse for leaving a cat in a residence (with open window) having been evicted by the landlord for, presumably, nonpayment of rent.

The defendant in this matter is thrown out on the street by the landlord, and then prosecuted by the State of Iowa for not taking a cat with him.  The landlord is not being prosecuted for human abuse, the ex-tenant is being prosecuted for animal abuse - - for leaving the cat.    

Now, don't get in a toot and conclude that I'm in favor of cat abuse (although I will say the world has too many cats).  One does not have to be in favor of cat abuse to wonder about the disparity here.  Afterall, it is not clear if the landlord actually evicted the cat.  The cat may not have had to depart the premises as did the human; and if this is the case, it would seem that prosecuting the human for leaving the cat would be premature.  The facts regarding this situation are unclear.

One ought to be familiar with the situation where a cat or cats share an abode with humans and do pretty much what they please when they please.  This is especially true with farm cats and cats of more rural areas.  The idea, to the cat, that it is owned by a human, has no purchase.  Ergo, any forceful entry and detainer evicting a human from a residence may have no effect on the feline resident - - it is not the one being evicted; there is nothing in the paperwork naming the cat as the evictee or as a defendant in the legal proceeding affecting the human.  

Now you say, the tenant left the cat without food.  Okay, fair enough.  The cat and the human are now in the same situation if both leave the premises.  Neither has a place to sleep and both have to go out and find something to eat.  Determining that the human has to find something for himself to eat and at the same time find something for the cat to eat seems a little unfair.  The cat and human both this time of year can find nice fat crickets to eat and the cat can catch a mouse or two while the human may have some difficulty in that regard.  And they both will have the same dumpsters to check for thrown away food to share.  So it actually may be that the cat is better off than the human when it comes to dining after eviction; and if this is so, the idea of prosecuting the human for animal abuse seems unjustified altogether.

As I indicated above, this article is simply an effort to inform the local citizenry of local legal issues.  It is always good to be informed of these matters so that one's conduct can be in conformity with local expectations - - if evicted, take the cat.

Richard E H Phelps II

Mingo